Cohabitation before marriage, often referred to as “shacking up,” is more common today than ever. But what does the Bible say about it? Scripture offers clear principles on sexual morality, marriage, and living arrangements. Let’s explore the Bible’s view on this modern trend.
Also Read: What Does The Bible Say About brokenness
What Does The Bible Say About shacking up
Hebrews 13:4
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
This verse reminds us of the importance of honoring marriage and keeping sexual relationships within the boundaries of a committed marital relationship. God’s desire is for us to experience the beauty and purity of intimacy within the covenant of marriage.
As a Christian and follower of God’s Word, it is essential to uphold the sanctity of marriage and avoid any form of sexual immorality, including shacking up or cohabitation. By choosing to honor God’s design for marriage, we can experience His blessings and avoid the potential pitfalls and consequences of going against His will.
1 Corinthians 6:18
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”
This verse emphasizes the urgency and seriousness of fleeing from sexual immorality, including shacking up. Sexual sin has a unique impact on our bodies and souls, and it is essential to understand the gravity of its consequences.
As believers, we are called to flee from any situation or temptation that leads us into sexual immorality. This includes avoiding cohabitation outside of marriage. By choosing to flee from sexual immorality, we demonstrate our love for God and our commitment to honor His commandments.
1 Corinthians 7:2
“But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.”
This verse highlights the value that God places on the marital relationship as the appropriate context for sexual intimacy. It emphasizes the importance of having sexual relations within the boundaries of a committed, monogamous marriage.
As Christians, we should strive to follow God’s design for marriage and seek His guidance in all aspects of our relationships, including the decision to live together. This verse reminds us of the beauty of the marital bond and encourages us to prioritize and nurture our marriages.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God.”
This passage highlights God’s desire for His children to live in holiness and avoid sexual immorality. It reminds us that as believers, we are called to exercise self-control and honor our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit.
Cohabitation outside of marriage can often be driven by passionate lust or worldly desires. However, as followers of Christ, we are called to live differently, guided by the principles of God’s Word and empowered by the Holy Spirit to resist temptation and pursue holiness.
Ephesians 5:31-32
“For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
This verse is a reminder of the deep and profound mystery of marriage. It points to the sacred and intimate union between a husband and wife, which mirrors the spiritual union between Christ and His bride, the Church.
Living together outside of marriage fails to recognize and honor this divine mystery. It overlooks the unique covenant and commitment that marriage represents, robbing couples of the fullness and depth of a relationship dedicated to God and each other.
Proverbs 6:27-29
“Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished.”
This passage highlights the destructive consequences that can arise from engaging in sexual immorality, including adultery. It serves as a warning against the potential harm and pain that can result from disregarding God’s commands.
As believers, we must recognize that cohabitation outside of marriage can easily lead to sin and brokenness. It is important to guard our hearts and honor the boundaries set by God to protect ourselves and others from the devastating consequences that can follow in the wake of sexual immorality.
1 Corinthians 7:8-9
“Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
Paul, in this verse, acknowledges the reality of sexual desire and the challenges that can arise for those who are unmarried. He suggests that, if one struggles with controlling their passions, it may be better to pursue marriage rather than engaging in sexual sin.
While this verse does not directly address cohabitation, it does highlight the importance of acknowledging our natural desires and seeking God’s guidance in finding appropriate outlets for them. Marriage offers the framework for fulfilling these desires in a way that honors God and respects His design for the sexual relationship.
Galatians 5:16
“So, I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”
This verse reminds us of the empowering presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Through the Spirit, we have the strength and guidance to resist the desires of the flesh, including the temptation to engage in sexual immorality.
It is important to lean on the Holy Spirit and invite His transformative work in our lives, especially in areas where we may struggle with sexual sin. By walking in the Spirit, we can overcome the fleshly desires that may lead to cohabitation outside of the boundaries set by God.
Colossians 3:5-6
“Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.”
This passage urges believers to put to death the sin of sexual immorality and all other ungodly desires that originate from our earthly nature. It emphasizes the seriousness of these sins and warns of the coming wrath of God for those who persist in them.
Engaging in cohabitation outside of marriage falls under the category of sexual immorality and impurity, as it goes against God’s plan for relationships. To live in a manner pleasing to God, we must actively strive to put to death the sinful desires of our flesh and pursue purity and holiness instead.
Proverbs 5:3-5
“For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end, she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave.”
This passage serves as a warning against the enticing nature of sexual sin and the potential consequences of engaging in it. It describes the initial allure and sweetness of temptation but highlights the ultimate bitterness and destruction that follow.
Similarly, cohabitation outside of marriage may seem appealing and convenient, but it can lead to negative consequences and hinder the growth and flourishing of a relationship. It is essential to heed the warnings in God’s Word and make choices that align with His wisdom and guidelines for our lives.
Proverbs 6:32-33
“But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will never be wiped away.”
This verse emphasizes the damaging impact of committing adultery and engaging in sexual immorality. It speaks of the destruction, disgrace, and everlasting shame that can accompany such actions.
While cohabitation outside of marriage may not be adultery in the strictest sense, it still undermines the biblical framework for sexual relationships. It can lead to broken trust, emotional turmoil, and lasting negative effects. As believers, we are called to preserve the sanctity of sex and relationships, avoiding any path that may lead to the destruction of ourselves and others.
Proverbs 7:21-23
“With persuasive words, she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. All at once, he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life.”
This passage describes the temptation of sexual immorality and the ease with which one can be led astray by seductive words and actions. It illustrates the danger and consequences of succumbing to these temptations.
Cohabitation outside of marriage may begin innocently or as a convenient arrangement, but it often comes with its own set of temptations and pitfalls. It is crucial to be aware of the potential dangers and to seek wisdom and discernment from God when making decisions about relationships and living arrangements.
1 Corinthians 10:13
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”
This verse brings a message of hope and encouragement to believers facing various temptations, including sexual immorality. It assures us that no temptation is beyond our ability to resist with God’s help and guidance.
When considering cohabitation outside of marriage, it is important to remember that God always provides a way out of temptation. By relying on His strength and seeking His wisdom, we can make choices that align with His will and avoid compromising our purity and commitment to honoring His design for relationships.
1 Peter 2:11
“Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul.”
As Christians, we are called to live as strangers and exiles in this world, separate from its sinful ways. This verse reminds us of the importance of abstaining from sinful desires that wage war against our soul, including sexual immorality.
Cohabitation outside of marriage often results from pursuing our own desires rather than seeking God’s will and aligning our lives with His Word. By choosing to abstain from such sinful desires, we can live as faithful witnesses of Christ’s love and commitment to purity in all aspects of our lives.
2 Timothy 2:22
“Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”
This verse encourages believers to flee from evil desires and actively pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace. It highlights the importance of surrounding ourselves with others who share our commitment to living with a pure heart before the Lord.
If cohabitation outside of marriage is driven by youthful desires or worldly influences, this verse reminds us to turn away from those temptations and seek after the things that please God. It is through the pursuit of righteousness and fellowship with other believers that we find strength and support to navigate the complexities of relationships and make choices that honor Him.
Matthew 5:28
“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
This verse goes beyond the physical act of adultery and addresses the heart and intentions behind our thoughts and desires. It highlights that harboring lustful thoughts is also a violation of God’s commandments.
Cohabitation outside of marriage can easily lead to lustful thoughts and actions, putting the integrity of our hearts at risk. It is important to guard our hearts and minds, seeking purity in our thoughts and intentions as we navigate relationships and make choices that align with God’s Word.
Romans 6:12-14
“Therefore, do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.”
This passage challenges believers not to allow sin to reign in our bodies but to offer ourselves to God as instruments of righteousness. It acknowledges the transformative power of God’s grace in liberating us from the bondage of sin and calling us to a life dedicated to righteousness.
Choosing cohabitation outside of marriage can be seen as offering oneself to sin and defying God’s plan for relationships. As followers of Christ, we are called to surrender every aspect of our lives to Him and allow His grace to transform and guide us, including in matters of relationships and sexual purity.
Proverbs 14:12
“There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end, it leads to death.”
This verse reminds us that appearances can be deceptive. Our human understanding and desires may lead us to believe that certain choices, like cohabitation outside of marriage, are acceptable or even preferable. However, the ultimate consequences of such choices can be detrimental to our spiritual well-being and lead us away from God’s best for us.
As believers, we need to seek wisdom beyond our own understanding and trust in the guidance of God’s Word. Rather than relying on what seems right in our own eyes, let us align our lives with the truth revealed in Scripture and trust in God’s perfect plans for our relationships.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10
“Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”
This passage provides a sobering reminder of the serious repercussions of engaging in sexual immorality. It states clearly that those who persist in such behavior will not inherit the kingdom of God.
While cohabitation outside of marriage may not automatically classify one as sexually immoral, it still falls under the umbrella of sexual sins. As followers of Christ, we are called to live in a manner that aligns with God’s standards, striving for purity and holiness in all areas of our lives, including our relationships.
1 Corinthians 6:18
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”
This verse emphasizes the urgency and seriousness of fleeing from sexual immorality, including shacking up. Sexual sin has a unique impact on our bodies and souls, and it is essential to understand the gravity of its consequences.
As believers, we are called to flee from any situation or temptation that leads us into sexual immorality. This includes avoiding cohabitation outside of marriage. By choosing to flee from sexual immorality, we demonstrate our love for God and our commitment to honor His commandments.
1 Corinthians 7:9
“But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
Paul, in his teaching on relationships and marriage, acknowledges the reality of sexual desire. He suggests that if self-control is challenging, it may be better to pursue marriage rather than being consumed by unfulfilled passions.
While this verse does not explicitly address cohabitation, it serves as a reminder that God has provided marriage as a way to express and fulfill our sexual desires in a way that honors Him. If the temptation to shack up arises due to passionate desires, it is important to prayerfully seek God’s guidance and consider whether marriage may be a more suitable choice.
Matthew 19:6
“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
This verse highlights the permanent nature of the marital bond. It emphasizes that once a man and a woman come together in marriage, they become one flesh, inseparable by human means.
Cohabitation outside of marriage undermines the sacredness and permanence of this union, as it lacks the commitment and covenantal aspect of marriage. As believers, we are called to respect and honor the institution of marriage, upholding its sanctity and avoiding any actions that may lead to its separation or compromise.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
This verse reminds believers that our bodies are the dwelling places of the Holy Spirit. It emphasizes that we are not our own but have been redeemed by God’s grace and are called to honor Him with our bodies.
Living together outside of marriage can often involve treating our bodies as mere tools for personal pleasure and convenience. However, as followers of Christ, we are called to treat our bodies with reverence and purity, offering them as living sacrifices to God. This includes making choices that reflect His values and standards, such as honoring the sanctity of marriage.
1 Thessalonians 4:4-5
“…that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God.”
In this passage, Paul calls believers to learn to control their bodies in a manner that is holy and honorable. He contrasts this with the behavior of those who do not know God, whose actions are driven solely by passionate lust.
Cohabitation outside of marriage can easily be driven by lustful desires and passions, disregarding God’s call for self-control and purity. As followers of Christ, we are called to live differently, guided by the Holy Spirit and striving to honor God in our bodies and relationships.