Gaslighting, a form of manipulation that distorts someone’s perception of reality, isn’t a term found in the Bible, but Scripture speaks about truth, honesty, and love. The Bible warns against deceit and encourages believers to build one another up with truth. Let’s see how biblical principles can guide us in avoiding manipulative behaviors and fostering healthy relationships.
Also Read: What Does The Bible Say About A Wife Denying Her Husband
What Does The Bible Say About Backbiting
Proverbs 25:23
“The north wind driveth away rain: so doth an angry countenance a backbiting tongue.”
This verse draws a parallel between the north wind driving away rain and an angry countenance silencing a backbiting tongue. It highlights the power of a strong and firm response to put an end to gossip and slander.
In a literal sense, the north wind is known for its ability to disperse clouds and prevent rain. Similarly, displaying anger or disapproval can deter those engaged in backbiting, discouraging them from further spreading harmful words.
Proverbs 29:5
“A man that flattereth his neighbor spreadeth a net for his feet.”
This verse cautions against the deceptive nature of flattery, comparing it to spreading a net for someone’s feet. It warns that false praise and insincere compliments can lead to harm and betrayal.
Just as a hidden net can trip someone up and cause them to stumble, excessive flattery can ensnare individuals and manipulate their trust. It serves as a reminder to be cautious of those who speak highly but may have ulterior motives.
Proverbs 16:28
“A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.”
This verse highlights the destructive nature of a froward person who stirs up conflict and strife. Additionally, it warns about the damaging effect of a whisperer who causes division among close friends.
A froward person is one who is stubborn, uncooperative, and inclined towards creating discord. By instigating disagreements and disputes, they sow seeds of tension within relationships. The act of whispering malicious information further deepens the divide, corroding trust and unity.
Proverbs 11:9
“An hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbor: but through knowledge shall the just be delivered.”
This verse exposes the harm caused by a hypocritical person who uses their words to destroy others. It contrasts this with the righteous, who attain deliverance through knowledge.
Hypocrisy is the act of pretending to be virtuous or honest while concealing one’s true intentions or behaviors. Such individuals may use deceptive and harmful language to harm their neighbors. However, those who pursue wisdom and knowledge find a path of liberation and deliverance from such destructive behavior.
James 4:11
“Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.”
This verse emphasizes the importance of refraining from speaking evil or negatively about one another. It illustrates that when we criticize and judge our brothers and sisters, we are not only maligning them but also questioning and judging God’s law.
By engaging in slander and harsh judgment, we distance ourselves from the principles of love, mercy, and understanding that God’s law promotes. This verse encourages believers to focus on self-examination and growth rather than casting judgment on others.
Proverbs 17:9
“He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.”
This verse emphasizes the value of covering and forgiving someone’s transgressions in seeking love. Conversely, it admonishes those who repeatedly bring up past wrongs, as it causes deep division between close friends.
By choosing to cover and forgive, we display a spirit of grace and understanding that fosters love and reconciliation. However, continuously reminding someone of their past mistakes hinders the healing process and can lead to the deterioration of once-strong friendships.
Proverbs 20:19
“He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.”
This verse warns against associating with talebearers who reveal secrets, advising against engaging with those who use deceptive flattery.
A talebearer is someone who spreads gossip and reveals private information without discretion. Such individuals cannot be trusted with intimate matters. Similarly, those who use flattery to manipulate others should be approached with caution, as their motives may be insincere.
1 Peter 4:8
“And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.”
This verse urges believers to have fervent love for one another, as love has the power to cover a multitude of sins.
Charity, which encompasses love, forgiveness, and compassion, is emphasized as a powerful force that allows for the restoration and healing of relationships. Rather than dwelling on the faults and shortcomings of others, demonstrating love enables us to extend grace and offer forgiveness, bridging the gaps caused by backbiting.
Proverbs 18:8
“The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.”
This verse illustrates the painful and lasting impact of a talebearer’s words, comparing them to wounds that penetrate deep into one’s innermost being.
Talebearing often involves spreading harmful or malicious information, causing emotional and psychological damage to the victim. The analogy presented here emphasizes the weight of the hurt caused by gossip and the need for compassion and sensitivity in our words.
Proverbs 26:20
“Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.”
This verse draws a parallel between the absence of wood extinguishing a fire and the absence of a talebearer ending strife. It highlights the role of gossip in fueling and perpetuating conflicts.
Just as removing wood from a fire stops its spread, refusing to engage in talebearing can bring an end to discord. This verse encourages individuals to avoid participating in gossip and to seek peace by refusing to perpetuate conflict through speech.
2 Corinthians 12:20
“For I fear, lest, when I come, I shall not find you such as I would, and that I shall be found unto you such as ye would not: lest there be debates, envyings, wraths, strifes, backbitings, whisperings, swellings, tumults.”
This verse expresses the apostle Paul’s concern for the Corinthian church, fearing that he may find them engaged in divisive behaviors such as debates, envy, anger, strife, backbiting, gossip, arrogance, and disorder.
Paul’s apprehension underscores the harmful impact of backbiting and whisperings within the body of believers. It serves as a reminder of the importance of fostering unity and harmony within the church, allowing love and peace to prevail.
James 3:6
“And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.”
This verse emphasizes the destructive power of the tongue, comparing it to a fire that can defile the entire body. It warns of the potential for the tongue to cause great harm and describes it as being fueled by the influence of evil.
Like a raging fire, gossip and backbiting can consume relationships and communities, leaving a trail of destruction in their wake. This verse urges believers to exercise caution, recognizing the potential harm that can be caused by their words and striving to use their tongues for good and edification.
Proverbs 11:13
“A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.”
This verse contrasts the actions of a talebearer, who reveals secrets, with someone of a faithful spirit, who keeps matters concealed.
While a talebearer lacks discretion and spreads private information, a person of faithfulness recognizes the value of confidentiality and strives to protect the privacy of others. By demonstrating trustworthiness and guarding the secrets entrusted to them, they foster an environment of safety and trust.
Proverbs 6:19
“A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.”
This verse identifies two harmful behaviors, false witnessing and sowing discord among brethren, as abominations to the Lord.
A false witness discredits the truth and undermines justice, causing harm to both the accused and the integrity of the legal system. Similarly, those who intentionally sow discord and create division within a community are in direct opposition to God’s desire for unity and harmony among believers.
Proverbs 17:4
“A wicked doer giveth heed to false lips; and a liar giveth ear to a naughty tongue.”
This verse highlights the inclination of wicked individuals to lend their attention to false lips and the tendency of liars to listen to malicious talk.
Those who engage in wrongdoing are more likely to be drawn towards falsehood and deception, finding themselves captivated by lies and slander. It emphasizes the importance of discernment and being cautious about the information we consume and believe.
Proverbs 4:24
“Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee.”
This verse advises against the use of a froward and perverse mouth, urging individuals to distance themselves from such harmful speech.
A froward mouth refers to speech that is stubborn, unyielding, and inclined towards creating strife. Perverse lips involve language that is twisted or corrupt. By rejecting these forms of communication, individuals can promote understanding, peace, and wholesome dialogue.
Proverbs 20:3
“It is an honor for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling.”
This verse recognizes the honor and wisdom in refraining from engaging in strife. Contrarily, it highlights the foolishness of those who incessantly meddle in conflicts.
By choosing not to contribute to strife and discord, individuals demonstrate maturity and wisdom. However, those who constantly insert themselves into conflicts, especially through gossip and slander, display a lack of judgment and understanding.
Proverbs 17:9
“He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.”
This verse underscores the value of covering and forgiving someone’s transgressions as an expression of love. Conversely, it warns that continually bringing up past wrongs can lead to the separation of close friends.
By choosing to cover and forgive, we display a spirit of grace and understanding that fosters love and reconciliation. However, continuously reminding someone of their past mistakes hinders the healing process and can lead to the deterioration of once-strong friendships.
James 1:26
“If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain.”
This verse emphasizes the importance of controlling one’s tongue and the impact it has on the sincerity of one’s faith.
True religion involves more than performing outward acts of piety; it requires the transformation of the heart and the accompanying self-discipline in speech. Failure to control the tongue exposes a lack of genuine faith, as it reveals a heart that is not aligned with the principles of love, kindness, and integrity.
Colossians 3:8
“But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.”
This verse urges believers to rid themselves of harmful speech, including anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, and vulgar language.
Recognizing the corrosive nature of such communication, this verse encourages believers to engage in speech that is edifying, gracious, and uplifting. By striving for purity in our language, we reflect the transformative work of Christ in our lives and promote a harmonious environment.
2 Timothy 2:16
“But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness.”
This verse advises against partaking in profane and meaningless talk, warning that indulging in such conversations can lead to an increase in ungodly behavior.
Profane and vain babblings refer to empty, useless, and disrespectful speech. By avoiding these types of conversations, believers safeguard themselves against falling into further ungodliness. Instead, they are encouraged to pursue discussions that are rooted in truth, goodness, and godliness.
Ephesians 4:29
“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”
This verse instructs believers to guard against corrupt and harmful communication, encouraging speech that is edifying and grace-filled.
Corrupt communication includes slander, gossip, and any form of speech that tears down or causes harm. Instead, believers are called to use their words to uplift, encourage, and build others up. By doing so, they reflect the character of Christ and bring blessings to their audience.
Proverbs 15:4
“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.”
This verse presents the tongue as a powerful instrument that can bring life or cause destruction. A wholesome tongue is compared to a tree of life, while perverseness in speech is equated to a breach in the spirit.
Just as a tree is a symbol of vitality and sustenance, a wholesome tongue has the ability to nourish, encourage, and bring life to others. Conversely, perverseness in speech disrupts harmony, causing pain and fracture within relationships and the spirit.
Proverbs 18:21
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”
This verse emphasizes the immense power of the tongue, declaring that it has the ability to bring both death and life. It further states that those who love and indulge in such speech will reap the consequences thereof.
Our words have the potential to bring about either destruction or nourishment. The words we choose to speak not only have an impact on others but also shape our own lives. This verse serves as a reminder to use our words wisely, recognizing their influential nature and the responsibility that comes with them.