Cutting off family members can be a difficult and emotional decision. The Bible speaks about family relationships, forgiveness, and boundaries, offering wisdom on when and how to navigate these tough choices. Let’s look at what Scripture says about this sensitive topic.
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What Does The Bible Say About Cutting Off Family
Matthew 10:34-36
“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn ‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law – a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.'”
This verse highlights the potential division that may occur within families when one chooses to follow Jesus. It emphasizes that sometimes the pursuit of truth and righteousness can create conflicts even within our closest relationships.
It is important to remember that while following Jesus may cause tension and separation, it does not mean we should abandon our family or become hostile towards them. Rather, our commitment to Christ should lead us to love and pray for our family members, even if they do not share our faith.
Luke 14:26
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters – yes, even their own life – such a person cannot be my disciple.”
This verse explores the concept of prioritizing our commitment to Jesus over our relationships with our immediate family. It does not mean we should actually hate our family members, but rather that our love and devotion to Christ should be so profound that our love for anyone else appears as hatred in comparison.
While this may sound extreme, it reflects the radical nature of discipleship. Our love for God should surpass all other affections and allegiances, including those within our own family.
Matthew 12:46-50
“While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, ‘Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.’ He replied to him, ‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ Pointing to his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.'”
This passage emphasizes the spiritual bond that exists among those who follow Jesus. While maintaining our familial relationships is important, being part of the family of God is of even greater significance.
Jesus elevates the importance of spiritual kinship, suggesting that our commitment to following His teachings and doing the will of God creates a deeper connection than mere blood ties. This does not diminish the value of biological family, but rather highlights the eternal and spiritual nature of the relationships formed through faith in Christ.
Mark 10:29-30
“Truly I tell you,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields – along with persecutions – and in the age to come eternal life.”
This verse assures us that God honors and rewards those who sacrifice relationships or material possessions for the sake of the gospel. It acknowledges the difficulty of leaving family members or familiar places, but affirms that the blessings of following Jesus far outweigh any losses we may experience.
God’s provision goes beyond material blessings and includes the gift of a new spiritual family – the community of believers who come together to support, encourage, and love one another. This verse reminds us that the sacrifices we make for Jesus are never in vain and that the eternal reward far surpasses any temporary losses.
1 Timothy 5:8
“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
This verse underscores the importance of fulfilling our responsibilities towards our immediate family members. While following Jesus may require commitment and sacrifice, it does not excuse us from neglecting our duty to care for our families.
As Christians, we are called to love and serve our family members, meeting their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs to the best of our ability. Neglecting these responsibilities contradicts the values of our faith and hinders our witness as believers.
Proverbs 15:17
“Better a small serving of vegetables with love than a fattened calf with hatred.”
This proverb highlights the significance of love and unity within a family. It emphasizes that genuine affection and harmony are more valuable than material abundance.
In the context of cutting off family, this verse reminds us that even in difficult circumstances or disagreements, it is important to maintain love and peace within our families. Rather than severing ties, our focus should be on seeking reconciliation and building healthy relationships, even if it means sacrificing personal desires or preferences.
Proverbs 17:17
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”
While this proverb does not directly address the topic of cutting off family, it highlights the unique bond between siblings and the importance of their support during times of difficulty.
Family members can play the role of loyal friends, offering comfort, encouragement, and assistance when we face challenges. Instead of severing these relationships, this verse encourages us to lean on our siblings and other family members during times of adversity, trusting that they will be sources of love and support.
Proverbs 22:6
“Start children off on the way they should go and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”
Family plays a crucial role in shaping the values and beliefs of children. This verse emphasizes the responsibility parents have in raising their children in accordance with God’s Word.
While there may be instances where individuals must distance themselves from family members who pose a threat to their spiritual well-being, this verse reminds us of the importance of nurturing faith within our families. It encourages parents to guide their children in the paths of righteousness, trusting that these teachings will remain with them even as they grow older.
1 Corinthians 7:12-14
“To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.”
In situations where one spouse is a believer and the other is not, this passage advises against divorce if there is harmony and willingness to live together. It acknowledges the potential for sanctification through the believing spouse, which extends to the children within the marriage.
While this verse does not directly address cutting off family, it promotes the value of maintaining familial unity and seeking transformation through a Christ-centered marriage and household.
Romans 12:10
“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”
As followers of Christ, we are called to cultivate love, honor, and mutual respect within our families. This verse encourages us to prioritize the needs and well-being of our family members above our own desires.
While there may be instances where it is necessary to establish boundaries or distance ourselves for our own spiritual growth, this verse reminds us to approach those situations with love and genuine concern for the welfare of our family members.
Ephesians 6:1-3
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’—which is the first commandment with a promise— ‘so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.'”
This verse emphasizes the importance of honoring and obeying our parents as part of our commitment to Christ. While there may be cases where following Jesus requires a separation from family, it does not negate the commandment to honor and respect our parents.
Even when there are differences in beliefs or conflicts within the family, as children of God, we are called to exhibit love, humility, and obedience towards our parents, honoring the position they hold in our lives.
Psalm 27:10
“Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.”
This psalm provides solace and encouragement, reminding us that even if our earthly family fails us or abandons us, God never will.
While cutting off family can create a sense of loss or loneliness, this verse assures us that God is always present and ready to receive us, offering His comfort, guidance, and unconditional love. It is a reminder that we are never truly alone when we belong to the family of God.
John 19:26-27
“When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loed standing nearby, he said to her, ‘Woman, here is your son,’ and to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’ From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.”
Even on the cross, Jesus displayed care and compassion for His earthly family. He entrusted the care of His mother, Mary, to the apostle John, emphasizing the importance of family and the responsibility to support and care for one another.
This passage serves as a reminder that, as followers of Christ, we should seek to love, protect, and provide for our family members, especially in times of need or vulnerability.
Proverbs 19:26
“Whoever robs their father and drives out their mother is a child who brings shame and disgrace.”
This verse condemns the mistreatment, neglect, or exploitation of parents. It highlights the dishonor and disgrace that comes from turning against family members or driving them away.
While there may be instances where it is necessary to set boundaries or seek distance from toxic family dynamics, it is important to do so with wisdom, love, and understanding, rather than engaging in actions that cause shame or disgrace.
Colossians 3:20
“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”
In the context of cutting off family, this verse reminds children of their responsibility to obey and honor their parents. While there may be situations where obedience to God requires setting boundaries or seeking distance from toxic family relationships, this verse emphasizes the importance of honoring our parents to the best of our ability.
By obeying our parents, even in difficult circumstances, we demonstrate our trust in God and our commitment to living according to His Word.
Leviticus 19:3
“‘Each of you must respect your mother and father, and you must observe my Sabbaths. I am the LORD your God.”
This verse encompasses both aspects of God’s commandments – honoring our parents and observing the Sabbath. It emphasizes the importance of showing respect and reverence towards our parents, recognizing their position of authority and the value of their wisdom.
While the decision to cut off family members may be made in extreme cases to prioritize spiritual well-being, this verse reminds us of the ongoing responsibility to show respect and honor to our parents while also honoring God’s commands.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
This well-known passage on love provides guidance for approaching family relationships. It reminds us that love is not self-centered, but rather patient, kind, forgiving, and focused on the well-being of others.
While there may be instances where cutting off family becomes necessary for our own spiritual growth or safety, this passage encourages us to maintain a posture of love in our thoughts, actions, and intentions towards our family members.
Proverbs 23:22
“Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.”
This verse highlights the importance of listening to and valuing the wisdom and guidance of our parents, especially as they age.
While it may be necessary in certain circumstances to establish boundaries or seek distance from family members, it is crucial to approach these decisions with respect and honor. This verse encourages us to cherish and care for our parents, particularly as they enter old age, maintaining a posture of love and gratitude.
Mark 7:9-13
“And he continued, ‘You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions! For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and, ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’ But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is Corban (that is, devoted to God) – then you no longer let them do anything for their father or mother. Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many things like that.'”
This passage addresses the religious leaders who were neglecting their responsibilities to care for their aging parents by using religious rituals as an excuse. It highlights the importance of honoring and providing for our parents, instead of prioritizing human traditions or self-interest.
While cutting off family may be necessary in some cases to preserve our faith or safety, it should not be done as a means to neglect the responsibility of caring for our parents in their time of need.
2 Corinthians 6:14
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
While this verse does not directly discuss the topic of cutting off family, it advises against being unequally yoked with unbelievers. It reminds us to carefully consider the impact of our close relationships on our faith.
In cases where believing and unbelieving family members lead to spiritual conflicts or pose a threat to our walk with Christ, it may be necessary to establish boundaries or seek distance. However, this should be done with the goal of preserving our faith and not used as a means to foster division or animosity.
Psalm 133:1
“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!”
This psalm extols the virtues of unity among God’s people. It emphasizes the beauty and blessings that come from living in harmony with one another.
While cutting off family may be necessary in certain circumstances, it should not be done lightly or without deep consideration. This verse reminds us of the joy and goodness that arise from living in unity and encourages us to seek reconciliation whenever possible.
Proverbs 20:20
“If someone curses their father or mother, their lamp will be snuffed out in pitch darkness.”
This verse warns against disrespecting or cursing one’s parents, emphasizing the seriousness of dishonoring those who have given us life.
While it may be necessary in extreme situations to create distance or sever ties with family members, it should be done with care and without engaging in actions that dishonor or curse them. It is vital to approach these decisions with wisdom, humility, and a desire to seek the guidance of God.
1 Peter 4:8
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
This verse encourages us to cultivate a deep love for one another, recognizing that love has the power to cover and heal many offenses and sins.
While cutting off family members may be necessary in certain circumstances, it is essential to approach these decisions with a heart of love. Even in the midst of difficult relationships or conflicts, we are called to demonstrate love, forgiveness, and grace, seeking reconciliation whenever possible.
Psalm 68:6
“God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.”
This psalm acknowledges that God places the lonely in families, signifying the importance of companionship and belonging. It speaks of His provision and deliverance, contrasting it with the consequences of rebellion.
While cutting off family members may result in feelings of loneliness, this verse reminds us that God is the ultimate source of comfort, guidance, and belonging. It assures us that even if our earthly families fail us, He will lead us and provide us with the community, support, and love we need.