Arguments in relationships are inevitable. But what matters most is how you handle them. Healthy conflict can actually strengthen your bond if approached with respect and understanding. Learning to argue constructively is key to maintaining a loving partnership.
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What Does The Bible Say About Arguing With Your Spouse
Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
This verse reminds us to respond to arguments with gentleness, rather than engaging in harsh words that escalate the situation. It encourages us to prioritize love and understanding in our interactions with our spouse.
Ephesians 4:26
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
While conflicts may arise, this verse encourages resolving them before the day ends. It emphasizes the importance of addressing and reconciling any points of contention promptly rather than allowing anger to linger and potentially damage the relationship.
Proverbs 17:14
Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam, so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.
When we engage in arguments, the tension can quickly escalate. This verse advises us to let go of matters that may lead to disputes, preventing the situation from worsening and causing irreparable damage to the relationship.
Proverbs 21:9
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
This verse highlights the negative impact of constant arguing within a household. It reminds us of the importance of fostering harmony and peace, as dwelling together in a contentious environment can be detrimental to the well-being of both spouses.
Matthew 5:23-24
Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
Before seeking to worship or offer to God, this verse teaches the significance of resolving conflicts with others. It emphasizes the importance of prioritizing reconciliation and harmony in relationships, including with our spouse, before engaging in religious acts.
James 1:19-20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
This verse calls for wisdom in our communication with our spouse. It encourages active listening, restraint in speaking, and patience in controlling our anger. By following these principles, we can nurture healthier and more constructive discussions.
Proverbs 27:15-16
A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.
This verse vividly portrays the challenges of dealing with constant arguments. It illustrates the difficulties in trying to control or manage a quarrelsome spouse and emphasizes the importance of finding resolution and peace in our relationships.
Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Forgiveness plays a crucial role in resolving conflicts within marriage. This verse encourages us to be patient with one another and to extend forgiveness, modeling the forgiveness we have received from God in our own relationships.
Proverbs 19:11
A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
Wisdom leads to patience and understanding. This verse reminds us that it can be advantageous to overlook minor offenses rather than allowing them to become a source of contention and strife in our relationship with our spouse.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
This well-known verse from the Bible’s “love chapter” emphasizes the qualities of love, including patience, kindness, humility, and forgiveness. These attributes can help guide our interactions with our spouse, promoting healthier communication and conflict resolution.
Proverbs 12:18
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Our words hold great power. This verse reminds us of the impact our communication can have on our relationships, warning us against using hurtful and reckless words. It encourages us to choose our words wisely, seeking to bring healing and restoration instead of causing further harm.
Proverbs 14:29
Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.
Patience is a virtue that leads to wisdom and understanding. This verse highlights the importance of cultivating patience in our interactions with our spouse, thereby avoiding hasty and foolish reactions during arguments.
2 Timothy 2:23-24
Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, and not resentful.
This verse advises against engaging in pointless arguments that lead to quarrels. Instead, it encourages us to display kindness, patience, and teachability. By adopting this attitude, we can foster healthier and less contentious dialogues within our marriage.
Proverbs 20:3
It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.
Avoiding unnecessary conflict brings honor and demonstrates wisdom. This verse reminds us to resist the temptation to engage in quarrels without just cause, encouraging us to approach disagreements with thoughtfulness and humility.
Matthew 18:15
If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.
This verse provides guidance on addressing grievances within our relationships. It encourages us to confront issues directly and privately with our spouse, seeking resolution and reconciliation rather than allowing conflicts to fester or involve others unnecessarily.
Proverbs 25:15
Through patience, a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.
This verse highlights the power of patience and gentle communication. By approaching disagreements with a calm and understanding demeanor, we can influence our spouse and resolve conflicts more effectively, fostering peace and unity in our marriage.
James 4:1-2
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.
This passage reminds us that conflicts often stem from our own desires, unmet expectations, and lack of communication with God and one another. It emphasizes the importance of seeking God’s guidance and aligning our desires with His will, reducing the likelihood of unnecessary arguments.
Proverbs 22:24-25
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.
The company we keep influences our behavior. This verse advises against forming close relationships with individuals prone to anger and contention, as we may adopt their negative habits and become entangled in destructive patterns within our own marriage.
Proverbs 10:19
Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.
When disagreements arise, it is wise to exercise self-control in our speech. This verse encourages us to refrain from excessive talking, recognizing that prolonging arguments with a multitude of words seldom leads to resolution. Instead, the wise choose their words carefully and maintain restraint.
Proverbs 15:18
A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.
Our temperament has a significant impact on our interactions with our spouse. This verse emphasizes the importance of patience in diffusing conflicts, highlighting its role in promoting a calm and peaceful atmosphere within our marriage.
Colossians 4:6
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Graceful communication is essential in resolving conflicts. This verse encourages us to speak with kindness, wisdom, and consideration. By doing so, we can respond effectively to our spouse and address arguments in a manner that promotes understanding and resolution.
Proverbs 16:32
Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.
Controlling our anger and responding with patience and self-restraint requires strength and wisdom. This verse highlights the value of maintaining composure in the face of conflict, emphasizing its significance in maintaining a healthy and harmonious marital relationship.
1 Peter 3:8-9
Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
This passage provides a comprehensive guide to fostering healthy relationships, including our marriage. It encourages unity of mind, empathy, love, compassion, and humility. It also urges us not to retaliate with harm but rather to respond with blessings, recognizing that such attitudes and actions lead to greater blessings in our own lives.
Proverbs 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.
Allowing our anger to take control often leads to regrettable consequences. This verse contrasts foolishness with wisdom, underscoring the importance of responding to arguments with a calm and composed demeanor in order to achieve resolution and maintain the integrity of our relationship with our spouse.
Matthew 7:12
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
Often referred to as the Golden Rule, this verse encapsulates the essence of healthy relationships. By treating our spouse as we would like to be treated, showing respect, understanding, and forgiveness, we can foster an atmosphere of love and cooperation, reducing the frequency of arguments and promoting harmonious interactions.