Selfishness can harm even the strongest marriages, but the Bible calls us to serve and love our spouses selflessly. Today, we’ll explore what Scripture teaches about building a marriage centered on mutual love and respect.
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What Does The Bible Say About Selfishness In Marriage
Ephesians 5:25
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
This verse emphasizes the selflessness and sacrificial love that husbands are called to exhibit towards their wives. It calls husbands to put their own desires aside and prioritize the well-being and happiness of their spouse, just as Christ did for the church.
Selfishness in marriage can lead to resentment and friction, but when spouses practice selflessness and willingly make sacrifices for one another, they strengthen their bond and create a foundation of love and trust.
Philippians 2:3-4
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
This passage urges believers to avoid selfishness in all aspects of life, including marriage. It encourages humility and emphasizes the importance of valuing the needs and interests of one’s spouse above one’s own.
A selfish attitude can lead to conflicts and discord in a marriage, but by embracing selflessness and exhibiting a genuine concern for each other’s well-being, couples can cultivate a nurturing and harmonious relationship.
1 Corinthians 10:24
“No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.”
In the context of marriage, this verse reminds couples to prioritize the welfare of their spouses over their own desires and interests. It encourages a mindset of selflessness and encourages spouses to look for ways to bless and serve each other.
Choosing to prioritize the good of one’s spouse is an essential aspect of a healthy and thriving marriage, as it fosters a strong sense of unity, teamwork, and mutual support.
Proverbs 28:25
“A greedy man stirs up strife, but the one who trusts in the Lord will be enriched.”
This verse warns against the dangers of selfishness and greed within a marriage. Selfishness can lead to strife, contention, and the erosion of trust between spouses.
On the other hand, placing trust in the Lord and cultivating a spirit of selflessness can bring enrichment and blessings to a marriage, fostering a loving and harmonious relationship.
Mark 10:45
“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Jesus’ example of selfless service is an inspiration for all, including married couples. He taught that true greatness is found in serving others, not in seeking personal gain or gratification.
In a marriage, selflessness is demonstrated through acts of love, kindness, and sacrifice. By following Jesus’ example, couples can create a selfless and fulfilling marriage built on servanthood and mutual support.
Galatians 5:13
“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.”
This verse highlights the importance of using the freedom we have in Christ to serve and love one another in humility. In marriage, selfishness can hinder the expression of love and create barriers of resentment.
By choosing to serve one another with humility and love, married couples can break free from the bondage of selfishness and experience the joy and fulfillment that comes from selflessness.
1 Peter 4:10
“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.”
Marriage is an opportunity for spouses to use their unique gifts and abilities to serve one another and bring glory to God. Selfishness can hinder the expression of these gifts and create an unhealthy imbalance in the relationship.
By embracing a selfless mindset and using their gifts to bless and serve each other, married couples can create a beautiful partnership that reflects God’s grace and love.
Colossians 3:12-13
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
This passage highlights the virtues that should characterize the behavior of believers, including those in marriage. Selflessness is shown through compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
Forgiveness is also a crucial aspect of selflessness in marriage. By extending forgiveness to one another, couples can let go of selfish resentment and create an atmosphere of grace, healing, and restoration.
James 3:16
“For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”
Selfishness and envy can wreak havoc in a marriage, leading to chaos, conflict, and harmful behaviors. This verse warns against the destructive consequences of selfish ambition.
Choosing selflessness and contentment instead of selfish ambition can bring order, peace, and the practice of righteousness into a marriage, fostering a healthy and thriving relationship.
Proverbs 14:21
“Whoever despises his neighbor is a sinner, but blessed is he who is generous to the poor.”
This verse teaches the importance of generosity and selflessness towards others. In a marriage, this concept extends to being generous and considerate towards one’s spouse.
By cultivating a spirit of generosity and selflessness, couples can foster a nurturing and loving environment that allows their relationship to flourish. Selfishness, on the other hand, can breed discontentment and resentment.
1 Timothy 6:17-18
“Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.”
In the context of marriage, this passage encourages couples not to place their hope and happiness in material possessions or a self-centered pursuit of wealth.
Instead, the focus is on being rich in good deeds, generosity, and sharing with others. By practicing selflessness and using their resources to bless and serve others, couples can find true fulfillment and joy in their marriage.
1 John 3:16-18
“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”
This passage emphasizes the sacrificial nature of love and calls believers to demonstrate their love through selfless action rather than empty words.
In a marriage, selflessness is shown through acts of kindness, compassion, and support. By laying down their own desires and serving their spouse, couples can reflect the love of God and build a strong and enduring relationship.
Romans 15:1
“We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves.”
In marriage, selflessness is evident in the willingness to bear with the weaknesses and flaws of one’s spouse. It requires putting aside personal preferences and desires in order to support and encourage one another.
By practicing selflessness and prioritizing the needs of their spouse, couples can create an environment of acceptance, love, and growth within their marriage.
Luke 6:31
“Do to others as you would have them do to you.”
Known as the “Golden Rule,” this verse encourages believers to treat others with selflessness and kindness, mirroring how they would like to be treated themselves.
In a marriage, this principle applies to how spouses interact and treat each other. By selflessly loving, respecting, and serving one another, couples can establish a strong foundation of trust, communication, and mutual happiness.
Proverbs 11:25
“The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.”
This verse highlights the reciprocal nature of selflessness. Those who generously give of themselves and seek to refresh and uplift others will find that they themselves are refreshed and prospered.
In a marriage, cultivating a spirit of generosity and selflessness can lead to a mutually fulfilling and satisfying relationship, where both spouses are enriched and find joy in serving one another.
Matthew 20:26-28
“Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
This passage challenges the conventional worldly notions of greatness and encourages believers, including married couples, to embrace a servant-hearted attitude.
In a marriage, selflessness is demonstrated through acts of service, humility, and submission to one another. By following Christ’s example, couples can create a loving and Christ-centered union that glorifies God.
Galatians 6:2
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
Selflessness in marriage includes the willingness to support and help each other through life’s challenges and difficulties.
By carrying each other’s burdens, couples can experience a deeper level of intimacy and strengthen their bond, creating a safe and loving environment where both spouses feel cared for and supported.
Mark 12:31
“The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
This commandment highlights the importance of selflessness in all relationships, including marriage. Loving one’s spouse as oneself requires putting their needs, desires, and well-being on an equal level as one’s own.
By practicing selflessness and actively loving, respecting, and valuing their spouse, couples can cultivate a thriving and fulfilling marriage that reflects the love of Christ.
Proverbs 19:17
“Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward them for what they have done.”
Selflessness is not limited to the marriage relationship; it extends to how spouses treat others. This verse teaches that acts of kindness and generosity towards those in need are seen by God and will be rewarded.
By practicing selflessness in marriage and extending kindness and compassion to others, couples can demonstrate their love for God and create a marriage that is rooted in faith and service.
Hebrews 13:16
“And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.”
This verse encourages believers to pursue acts of goodness and generosity, sharing what they have with others. In the context of marriage, this speaks to the importance of selflessness and sharing within the relationship.
When couples prioritize selflessness and willingly sacrifice for each other, they please God and create a marriage that is characterized by love, trust, and mutual support.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
This well-known passage describes the characteristics of true love, which are rooted in selflessness. Love seeks the best for others, puts aside personal interests, and remains steadfast in the face of challenges.
In a marriage, practicing selfless love means embodying these qualities and choosing to prioritize the well-being and happiness of one’s spouse above all else. By doing so, couples can build a strong, enduring, and joyful marriage.