Cohabitating before marriage is a common topic of debate, but what does the Bible say? Today, we’ll examine what Scripture teaches about relationships and honoring God’s design for marriage.
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What Does The Bible Say About Cohabitating
Genesis 2:24
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
This verse establishes the biblical foundation for marriage, emphasizing the importance of leaving one’s family of origin and cleaving to one’s spouse. God’s design for marriage is a lifelong commitment between one man and one woman, where they become united as one.
Cohabitation goes against this biblical principle as it involves living together and engaging in marital-like relationships without the commitment of marriage. This verse encourages believers to prioritize marriage and honor the sacred union that God intended.
1 Corinthians 6:18
“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”
This verse serves as a warning against engaging in sexual immorality. Cohabitation often leads to sexual intimacy outside the confines of marriage, which is considered immoral according to God’s standards. The apostle Paul urges believers to avoid sexual sin and flee from its temptation.
While cohabitation may seem practical or socially acceptable in today’s culture, it disregards the sanctity of sexual intimacy within the context of marriage. This verse reminds Christians to honor God with their bodies and abstain from sexual immorality.
1 Corinthians 7:2
“But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.”
This verse highlights the biblical solution for sexual temptation—marriage. Rather than engaging in cohabitation, the apostle Paul encourages believers to seek a committed marital relationship, where each person has their own spouse.
Marriage provides a healthy and God-honoring outlet for sexual desires, maintaining purity and fidelity within the confines of a committed relationship. Cohabitation falls short of God’s plan for sexuality and fails to provide the protection and commitment that marriage offers.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-4
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor.”
This passage emphasizes God’s desire for believers to live lives of holiness and sexual purity. Cohabitation stands in opposition to God’s will for sanctification as it involves engaging in sexual activity outside the boundaries of marriage.
Believers are called to control their bodies and pursue holiness in their actions and decisions. Cohabitating couples should seek to align their lives with God’s plan for sexual purity, either by choosing to marry or by refraining from engaging in sexual activity until marriage.
Ephesians 5:31-33
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
In this passage, Paul references the Genesis account of marriage and highlights the relationship between Christ and the church as a reflection of the marriage relationship. He underscores the importance of selfless love and mutual respect within marriage.
Cohabitation lacks the committed foundation that marriage provides, making it difficult to fully embody the selfless love and mutual respect that Paul describes. This verse encourages believers to enter into marriage with a deep understanding of the profound connection between Christ and the church, seeking to replicate that love and respect in their own marriages.
Hebrews 13:4
“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
This verse reaffirms the value and sanctity of marriage, urging believers to honor the institution of marriage. Cohabitation undermines the sanctity of marriage by engaging in sexual relationships without the commitment and covenant that marriage entails.
God holds the marriage bed as sacred, and those who engage in sexual immorality, including cohabitation, will be held accountable. Believers are called to honor and uphold the institution of marriage, both in their actions and in their attitudes towards cohabitation.
Galatians 5:19-21
“Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”
This passage highlights the works of the flesh, including sexual immorality, and warns believers of the consequences of engaging in such behaviors. Cohabitation falls within the category of sexual immorality, as it involves living together and engaging in sexual relations outside the confines of marriage.
As followers of Christ, believers are called to live in alignment with the Spirit, forsaking the works of the flesh. Cohabitation contradicts God’s design for sexuality and can hinder one’s inheritance of the kingdom of God.
1 Corinthians 7:8-9
“To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
In this passage, Paul addresses the unmarried and widows and advises them regarding their marital status. He acknowledges the importance of self-control and indicates that marriage is a viable solution for those who struggle with sexual desires outside the context of marriage.
Cohabitation does not provide the necessary boundaries and commitment required to exercise self-control over sexual urges. Believers who find themselves in such situations are encouraged to consider marriage as a means to honor God’s design for sexual expression.
Proverbs 6:32-33
“He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself. He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away.”
This proverb warns against the destructive consequences of sexual immorality, including adultery. While cohabitation may not always involve adultery, it blurs the lines and opens the doors to sexual immorality.
This verse serves as a reminder of the severe damage that sexual sin can cause both to the individual and to those involved. Cohabitation, which often involves sexual activity, carries the potential for dishonor, brokenness, and lasting consequences.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10
“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”
This passage lists various sins, including sexual immorality, and emphasizes that those who persist in such behaviors will not inherit the kingdom of God. Cohabitation falls within the realm of sexual immorality, as it involves engaging in sexual relationships outside the covenant of marriage.
Believers are called to live righteous lives, forsaking sinful behaviors and pursuing holiness. Cohabitation contradicts this call to righteousness and carries the potential of separating individuals from the kingdom of God.
1 Corinthians 6:15-16
“Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, ‘The two will become one flesh.’”
Paul addresses the profound significance of sexual intimacy and its connection to the body as a member of Christ. Engaging in sexual activity outside the confines of marriage, such as in cohabitation, is likened to becoming one with a prostitute, which is deemed unacceptable.
This verse underscores the sacred nature of sexual union and highlights the importance of reserving it for the marital relationship. Cohabitation cheapens the value and significance of sexual intimacy, disregarding God’s design for its proper expression.
Colossians 3:5-6
“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming.
This passage encourages believers to put to death the sinful nature, including the various forms of sexual immorality. Cohabitation falls within the realm of sexual immorality as it involves engaging in sexual relationships outside the context of marriage.
Cohabitating couples are called to recognize the importance of fleeing from sexual sin and pursuing purity, living lives that honor God and reflect His righteousness. Choosing to abstain from cohabitation aligns with the command to put to death the earthly nature and avoid the wrath of God.
Matthew 5:27-28
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
In these verses, Jesus addresses the inward nature of desires and thoughts, extending the commandment against adultery to the realm of the heart and mind. While cohabitation may not involve physical adultery, it often involves indulging in sexual desire and lust outside the bonds of marriage.
Believers are called to purity of heart and mind, reining in lustful thoughts and choosing to honor God in their actions and relationships. Cohabitation can easily lead to sinful thoughts and actions, undermining the purity that God desires for His people.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20
“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
This passage emphasizes the need to flee from sexual immorality and highlights the significance of the body as a temple of the Holy Spirit. Cohabitation involves engaging in sexual relationships outside the boundaries of marriage, disregarding the sanctity of the body.
Believers are called to honor God with their bodies, recognizing that they belong to Him and were purchased at a great price through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Cohabitation contradicts this call to glorify God in one’s body and diminishes the reverence and respect that should be given to God’s dwelling place.
1 Peter 2:11
“Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.”
As believers in Jesus Christ, we are viewed as sojourners and exiles in this world, called to live distinctively different lives. This verse compels us to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which include sexual immorality.
Cohabitation involves living in close proximity and often engaging in sexual intimacy that can easily lead to sin. By choosing to abstain from cohabitation, believers demonstrate their commitment to living in a way that reflects their heavenly citizenship and aligns with God’s desires.
1 Corinthians 7:39
“A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.”
This verse speaks to the lifelong commitment that marriage entails. Cohabitation lacks the binding covenant of marriage and the exclusive commitment that it demands.
Believers are encouraged to enter into marriage with careful consideration, ensuring that the union is within the boundaries of God’s will. Cohabitation fails to provide the security and commitment that marriage offers, going against the biblical principle of lifelong fidelity.
Proverbs 5:18-19
“Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.”
This passage celebrates the blessings and joys of marital intimacy, encouraging husbands to delight in the love of their wife. Cohabitation, however, falls short of experiencing the fullness and commitment of the marital relationship.
God designed sexual intimacy to be a source of joy and fulfillment within the covenant of marriage. Cohabitating couples miss out on the depth of joy and satisfaction that comes from experiencing intimacy within the commitment and security of marriage.
1 Timothy 5:1-2
“Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.”
This verse speaks to the importance of treating others, particularly those of the opposite sex, with purity and respect. Cohabitation often involves engaging in sexual relationships without the commitment and covenant of marriage, disregarding the call to purity.
Christians are called to view one another as family and approach relationships with purity and holiness. Cohabitation blurs the boundaries and can lead to impurity and dishonor in relationships, failing to reflect the love and respect that believers should have towards one another.
Romans 12:1-2
“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
This passage calls believers to offer their bodies as a living sacrifice to God, living in a way that is holy and pleasing to Him. Cohabitation can be seen as conforming to the ways of the world, where sexual relationships outside of marriage are the norm.
As followers of Christ, we are called to transform our minds and align our lives with God’s will, distinguishing ourselves from the patterns of the world. Choosing to abstain from cohabitation is an act of worship, honoring God with our bodies and seeking His perfect and acceptable will.
1 Corinthians 10:13
“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation, he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”
This verse assures believers that God provides a way out when faced with temptation. When it comes to cohabitation, there may be various reasons why couples find it tempting or convenient, but God promises to help believers overcome such temptations and provide a way of escape.
Cohabitation may be a prevalent choice in society, but believers can trust in God’s faithfulness and seek His guidance in navigating relationships and honoring His principles. Choosing to pursue a relationship in a way that aligns with God’s design, relying on His strength to resist the temptation of cohabitation, brings glory to God and fosters a healthier and holier union.
Galatians 6:7-8
“Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”
These verses highlight the principle of sowing and reaping, emphasizing the consequences of one’s actions. Cohabitation involves sowing seeds of sexual immorality and disregarding God’s design for marriage and sexual intimacy.
Believers are called to sow to the Spirit by aligning their lives with God’s truth and pursuing righteousness. Cohabitation goes against this principle and can lead to corruption and relational brokenness. Choosing to honor God’s principles regarding relationships and sexuality is sowing to the Spirit and leads to a fruitful and eternal life in Christ.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
In this well-known passage, Paul describes the characteristics of love. Cohabitation falls short of demonstrating this type of selfless, sacrificial love that is patient, kind, and enduring.
God’s design for love is rooted in commitment and sacrificial care within the context of marriage. Cohabitation often lacks the fullness of this kind of love, as it does not require the same level of commitment and sacrifice that marriage demands.
1 Peter 3:7
“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
This verse addresses the role of husbands within marriage, emphasizing the importance of understanding and showing honor to their wives. Cohabitation falls short of fulfilling this responsibility, as it often lacks the commitment and depth of understanding that marriage demands.
By choosing to cohabitate instead of pursuing marriage, there is a potential hindrance in the spiritual lives and prayers of both individuals involved. Cohabitation can hinder the growth and development of a healthy and God-honoring relationship.
Matthew 19:6
“So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
This verse emphasizes the sacred nature of the marital union and the permanence of the bond between husband and wife. Cohabitation undermines this principle by avoiding the formal commitment and covenant of marriage.
Believers are encouraged to honor and respect the union that God has joined together and to seek His guidance when it comes to relationships and marriage. Cohabitation disregards the sanctity and permanence of marriage and can lead to the separation and dissolution of a relationship that was never fully committed in the first place.