Living together before marriage is a common topic today, and the Bible offers guidance on relationships and purity. Today, we’ll see what the Scriptures teach about cohabitation and why it’s important to consider God’s plan for relationships.
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What Does The Bible Say About Cohabitation
Genesis 2:24
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
This verse illustrates God’s intention for marriage, where a man and a woman leave their respective families and come together as one. It emphasizes the commitment and unity that should exist within the marital relationship.
However, cohabitation, or living together outside of marriage, contradicts this biblical principle. It undermines the commitment and permanence of marriage, often lacking the full dedication and covenantal bond that marriage entails.
1 Corinthians 6:18
“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”
This verse urges believers to actively avoid sexual immorality. Cohabitation often fosters an environment of sexual immorality, as the relationship is not grounded in the commitment and accountability of marriage.
By engaging in premarital sex within a cohabitating relationship, individuals disrespect God’s design for purity and dishonor their own bodies. Therefore, Christians should strive to uphold sexual purity by rejecting cohabitation.
Hebrews 13:4
“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
This verse emphasizes the sanctity of marriage and the importance of honoring it. Cohabitation undermines the value of marriage as it does not provide the same level of commitment or accountability.
God intended the marriage bed to be undefiled, set apart exclusively for the union of a husband and wife within the covenant of marriage. Engaging in sexual activities outside of marriage, as cohabitation often involves, goes against God’s command and invites His judgment.
1 Corinthians 7:2
“But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.”
This verse affirms the importance of marriage to avoid falling into sexual immorality. It encourages each person to have their own spouse, emphasizing the exclusivity and commitment of the marital relationship.
Cohabitation promotes a casual approach to relationships and often lacks the necessary commitment and exclusivity. This can lead to further temptation and the potential for sexual immorality, contrary to the biblical principles outlined in this verse.
Ephesians 5:31
“‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’
This verse reiterates the divine plan for marriage from Genesis 2:24. It emphasizes the unity and oneness that should exist within the marital bond, achieved by a man leaving his family and being joined to his wife.
Cohabitation diminishes the significance of this union and can lead to instability within relationships. By disregarding the biblical mandate to leave and cleave, couples may miss out on the opportunity to experience the true oneness and unity that God intended for marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:8-9
“To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
This passage addresses the different circumstances faced by the unmarried and widowed believers. It acknowledges that not everyone is called to marriage and encourages those who can remain single to do so.
While cohabitation may seem like an alternative to getting married, it fails to provide the same level of commitment and self-control. Instead, this verse advises those who struggle with sexual temptation to pursue marriage as a means of honoring God and avoiding sexual immorality.
Matthew 19:6
“So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
In this verse, Jesus affirms the sanctity and permanence of marriage. He emphasizes that when two individuals enter into the marriage covenant, they become one flesh in the eyes of God, firmly united.
Living together outside of marriage, as in cohabitation, can lead to a lack of commitment and an increased likelihood of separation. It is important to respect the union that God has joined together and not undermine it through practices that do not reflect the permanence and unity of marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:1
“Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: ‘It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.’
This verse introduces a discussion on marriage and sexual relations. It acknowledges that there is a level of goodness in refraining from sexual relations.
Cohabitation often places a heavy focus on the physical aspect of the relationship, which can overshadow the emotional, spiritual, and relational aspects. It is important to prioritize a godly foundation for relationships, emphasizing commitment and genuine love, rather than solely focusing on the physical aspect.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11
“To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.”
In these verses, Paul addresses the topic of divorce and separation within marriage, emphasizing the importance of commitment and reconciliation.
Cohabitation lacks the same level of commitment as marriage and can lead to a more casual approach to relationships. By choosing to live together without marrying, individuals may inadvertently weaken their commitment to one another, making it easier to separate without the same level of accountability and dedication encouraged by these verses.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.”
These verses highlight God’s desire for believers to live lives that are set apart and holy. They emphasize the importance of abstaining from sexual immorality and exercising self-control over one’s own body.
Cohabitation often fosters an environment of sexual intimacy outside of marriage, disregarding the call to holiness and honor. Christians should strive to honor God by pursuing purity and self-control in their relationships, choosing to abstain from sexual immorality and instead wait for marriage.
Galatians 5:19-21
“Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”
These verses list various sinful behaviors and lifestyles, including sexual immorality. They serve as a reminder of the consequences of engaging in such behaviors and the importance of pursuing a life that aligns with God’s will.
Living together outside of marriage, as seen in cohabitation, falls under the category of sexual immorality. Believers are called to distance themselves from such actions and instead seek to live in a manner worthy of the kingdom of God.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10
“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”
These verses serve as a warning against participating in unrighteous actions that go against God’s commands. Among the behaviors mentioned is sexual immorality, which includes cohabitation.
Believers must be aware of the spiritual consequences of engaging in such actions and understand that those who persist in unrighteousness will not inherit the kingdom of God. It is crucial to align our lives with God’s standards, which includes abstaining from cohabitation and choosing a lifestyle that honors and pleases Him.
Matthew 5:27-28
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
These verses address the issue of lust and its role in sexual immorality. Jesus teaches that the sin of adultery is not only committed through physical actions but also through the sinful thoughts and intentions of the heart.
Cohabitation often promotes an environment where sexual intimacy occurs outside of the boundaries of marriage, leading to tempting situations and increased likelihood of indulging in lustful thoughts and actions. Christians should guard their hearts and minds, seeking purity in both their actions and thoughts.
Proverbs 6:32
“He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself.”
This verse highlights the destructive nature of adultery. Engaging in sexual relationships outside of marriage, as seen in cohabitation, not only goes against God’s design but also leads to damaging consequences.
Adultery and sexual immorality can destroy relationships, trust, and emotional well-being. Therefore, believers should heed this warning and refrain from practices like cohabitation that foster an environment ripe for such sins.
Proverbs 5:18-19
“Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.”
These verses celebrate the beauty and satisfaction found within the marital relationship. They encourage rejoicing in the spouse of one’s youth and finding delight and satisfaction in the love they share.
Cohabitation often prioritizes physical pleasure over the deeper emotional and spiritual connection grounded in marital commitment. God’s design for intimate relationships is for them to be enjoyed within the context of marriage, where there is a stronger foundation of love and commitment.
Proverbs 12:4
“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
This verse highlights the impact of a spouse on one’s life and well-being. A devoted, virtuous wife brings blessings and honor to her husband, whereas a shameless or dishonorable wife can bring ruin and decay.
Cohabitation can lack the same level of commitment and devotion found in marriage, potentially leading to instability and harm within the relationship. By choosing to honor God’s design for marriage, individuals can experience the profound benefits of a committed, lifelong union.
Ephesians 5:25
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
This verse speaks directly to husbands, instructing them to love their wives sacrificially and selflessly. It draws a parallel between this sacrificial love and the love of Christ for the church.
Cohabitation often lacks the same level of sacrificial love that marriage embodies. By choosing to live together without the commitment of marriage, individuals may inadvertently negate the opportunity to demonstrate Christ-like love to their partner.
Ephesians 5:22-23
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.”
These verses address the role of wives within the marital relationship, encouraging them to submit to their husbands as the head of the household. It draws an analogy between this submission and the submission of the church to Christ.
Cohabitation often lacks the same level of submission and mutual commitment found in marriage. By choosing to live together without marrying, individuals may unintentionally miss out on the opportunity to experience the fullness of the marital relationship as God intended it.
Colossians 3:5
“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”
This verse calls believers to put to death any sinful desires and temptations, including sexual immorality. It urges a pursuit of purity and a turning away from earthly desires that contradict God’s commands.
Cohabitation often fosters an environment ripe for sexual immorality and impurity. As followers of Christ, we are called to actively resist and eliminate these sinful behaviors from our lives.
Romans 6:12-13
“Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.”
These verses remind believers to live in a manner that aligns with their new life in Christ, choosing righteousness over sin. It emphasizes the importance of presenting ourselves to God and resisting the temptations of the flesh.
Cohabitation often places individuals in an environment that can easily lead to sin and unrighteousness. As followers of Christ, we are called to present ourselves as instruments for righteousness, pursuing lives that honor and glorify God.
Romans 12:1-2
“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
These verses encourage believers to offer themselves as living sacrifices to God, living lives that are set apart and holy. It emphasizes the importance of renewing our minds and seeking to discern God’s will.
Cohabitation often conforms to the patterns of the world, which may not align with God’s standards for purity and commitment. Christians should instead make conscious choices to pursue lives that are transformed by the renewing power of the Holy Spirit, seeking to align our actions with God’s perfect and acceptable will.
1 Thessalonians 4:7-8
“For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.”
These verses remind believers of God’s call to live lives of holiness and purity, reflecting His character and will. It emphasizes the need to honor and follow God’s standards rather than the desires of the flesh.
Cohabitation often falls short of God’s call to holiness and can lead to impurity in both actions and intentions. Christians should be aware that disregarding God’s commands for sexual purity, including refraining from cohabitation, is ultimately a disregard for God Himself.
1 Peter 3:7
“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
These verses address husbands, emphasizing the importance of treating their wives with understanding and honor, recognizing their shared inheritance as children of God.
Cohabitation often lacks the same level of commitment and understanding as marriage. By choosing to live together without the covenantal commitment of marriage, husbands may unintentionally hinder the spiritual aspect of their relationship and their prayers may be affected.