Controlling behavior in relationships can cause harm and division, and the Bible offers wisdom on how to cultivate healthy, loving marriages. Let’s explore what Scripture says about the role of husbands and how control contrasts with the biblical model of love and respect.
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What Does The Bible Say About Controlling Husbands
1 Peter 3:1-2
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
This verse emphasizes the importance of submission and respect in marriage. It encourages wives to lead by example, showing love and purity through their actions, even if their husbands may not believe in the Word.
By demonstrating godly characteristics, wives can have a positive influence on their husbands and potentially lead them towards a closer relationship with God.
Ephesians 5:22-24
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
This verse highlights the biblical concept of marital submission. It emphasizes that wives should willingly submit to their husbands’ authority, just as they submit to the Lord.
However, it is important to note that this verse should not be used to condone abusive or controlling behavior. Submission should be rooted in love, mutual respect, and the desire to honor God within the marriage.
Colossians 3:18
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
This verse reiterates the call for wives to willingly submit to their husbands’ leadership, but it emphasizes that this submission should be in line with God’s will.
Submission should not be seen as a demeaning or oppressive act, but rather as an act of trust and obedience to God’s design for marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:3-4
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.
This verse speaks to the mutual responsibility and authority within marriage. It highlights the importance of both spouses fulfilling their marital duties and treating each other with love and respect.
It reinforces the idea that marriage is a partnership, where both husband and wife have equal value and should prioritize the needs and desires of one another.
Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
This verse addresses husbands directly and reminds them of their role in marriage. Husbands are called to imitate the sacrificial love of Christ, who gave Himself up for the church.
Husbands should lead with love, selflessness, and a willingness to make sacrifices for the well-being and happiness of their wives.
1 Corinthians 11:3
But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
This verse speaks to the order and authority within the family structure. It states that Christ is the head of every man, man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ.
While this verse acknowledges a hierarchy, it does not promote or justify the abuse of authority. Instead, it highlights the responsibility of men to lead and protect their families in a manner that reflects the love and grace of Christ.
1 Peter 3:7
Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
This verse addresses husbands and instructs them to treat their wives with consideration, respect, and understanding. It highlights that husbands should recognize their wives’ inherent value and honor them as equal partners in the blessings of life.
By treating their wives well, husbands can cultivate a healthy and harmonious relationship and ensure their prayers are not hindered.
Colossians 3:19
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
This verse emphasizes the importance of love and kindness in a husband’s treatment of his wife. Husbands are called to demonstrate love in their actions, words, and attitudes towards their wives.
It serves as a reminder that husbands should avoid harshness, cruelty, or any form of mistreatment towards their wives.
Matthew 19:6
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.
This verse speaks to the permanence and sacredness of marriage. It emphasizes that once a husband and wife are united in marriage, they become one flesh in the eyes of God.
It encourages couples to work through their challenges and remain committed to their marriage, seeking reconciliation and growth rather than separation.
Genesis 2:24
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
This verse speaks to the covenantal nature of marriage, where a husband and wife leave their respective families and become a new family unit.
It highlights the importance of commitment, loyalty, and a deep emotional, spiritual, and physical connection between husband and wife.
Proverbs 18:22
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.
This verse affirms the value and blessing of a wife in a husband’s life. It acknowledges that finding a wife is a source of goodness and favor from the Lord.
Husbands should cherish and appreciate their wives, recognizing them as gifts from God.
Proverbs 12:4
A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.
This verse emphasizes the impact a wife can have on her husband’s life. A wife of noble character brings honor and joy to her husband, while a disgraceful wife brings heartache and pain.
Husbands should recognize and appreciate the positive influence of a virtuous and godly wife in their lives.
1 Corinthians 7:5
Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
This verse speaks to the importance of physical intimacy within the marital relationship. It encourages husbands and wives to be mindful of each other’s needs and to maintain a healthy and regular sexual relationship.
By doing so, they can safeguard against temptation and maintain a strong bond of intimacy and unity.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
This well-known passage describes the attributes and characteristics of love. It serves as a reminder to husbands and wives of how they should treat one another.
Husbands should demonstrate patience, kindness, humility, and selflessness towards their wives, while wives should exhibit the same qualities towards their husbands.
1 John 3:18
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.
This verse encourages husbands and wives to demonstrate their love not just through words, but through their actions and genuine care for one another.
Love should be shown through selfless acts, sacrifice, and a commitment to the well-being and happiness of one’s spouse.
Matthew 5:28
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
This verse addresses the temptation of lust and urges husbands to guard their hearts and thoughts.
Husbands should strive to maintain purity in their minds and hearts, being faithful to their wives in both their actions and their thoughts.
Proverbs 14:1
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands, the foolish one tears hers down.
This verse highlights the significant role that wives play in the establishment and preservation of their homes.
Wise wives build up and cultivate a loving and harmonious environment, while those who act foolishly can contribute to conflict and strife within the family.
Proverbs 21:9
It is better to live on a corner of the roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
This verse serves as a warning against the negative influence of constant arguments and strife within marriage.
Husbands are encouraged to seek peace and harmony within their homes, recognizing the detrimental effects of ongoing conflict.
1 Corinthians 7:33-34
But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.
This verse acknowledges the different priorities and responsibilities that come with marriage.
Husbands and wives should strive to prioritize and care for one another, finding a balance between their marital duties and their devotion to the Lord.
1 Timothy 5:8
Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
This verse highlights the importance of husbands fulfilling their role as providers for their families.
Husbands are called to provide not just materially, but also emotionally and spiritually, ensuring the well-being and security of their wives and children.
Proverbs 31:10
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
This verse celebrates the value and worth of a wife of noble character.
It serves as a reminder for husbands to recognize the immense blessings and significance that a virtuous and godly wife brings into their lives.
Genesis 3:16
To the woman he said, “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”
This verse addresses the effects of the fall in Genesis, including the dynamic between husbands and wives.
While it acknowledges the husband’s role as the leader, it also acknowledges the potential for conflict and power struggles within the marriage relationship.
Mark 10:9
Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.
This verse reiterates the permanence and sacredness of marriage.
It emphasizes that once a husband and wife are joined together by God, no one should seek to separate or undermine their union.
These verses provide biblical insights and guidance on the topic of controlling husbands. It is important to approach these verses with a balanced and holistic understanding, considering the broader context of marriage and the principles of love, mutual respect, and submission found throughout the Bible.
Submission in marriage should not be equated with oppression or control. Instead, it is a voluntary act of trust, where both husbands and wives mutually submit to one another out of reverence for God.
These verses remind husbands to love their wives sacrificially, treat them with respect, and avoid any form of harshness or mistreatment. They encourage wives to submit to their husbands’ leadership, while recognizing their own value and worth in the eyes of God.
Marriage is designed to be a partnership, where both spouses strive to honor God, love one another selflessly, and build a harmonious and loving home. It requires open communication, mutual understanding, and a genuine desire to prioritize the well-being and happiness of one’s spouse.
Ultimately, the aim of these verses is to provide guidance for healthy and God-centered marriages, where husbands and wives work together to uphold the principles of love, respect, and unity in their relationship.