Control is a topic the Bible addresses in various forms, from leadership to manipulation. The Bible warns against controlling others in a way that harms or oppresses, instead encouraging believers to seek humility and service. Let’s examine what Scripture teaches about control and authority.
Also Read: What Does The Bible Say About Writing
What Does The Bible Say About Controlling Others
Proverbs 16:32
“Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.”
This verse emphasizes the importance of self-control and managing our own emotions. It reminds us that true strength lies in our ability to govern ourselves and refrain from letting our anger control us.
By practicing self-control, we can avoid the temptation to manipulate or control others and instead focus on maintaining healthy relationships based on love and understanding.
James 1:19-20
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
This verse reminds us to be careful with our words and reactions when dealing with others. Instead of trying to control them, we should strive to be good listeners, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
By showing patience and understanding, we can foster open communication and promote harmony, allowing God’s righteousness to prevail in our relationships.
Proverbs 25:28
“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.”
This verse illustrates the importance of self-control in protecting ourselves and maintaining order in our lives. Without self-control, we become vulnerable to negative influences and lose the ability to regulate our behavior.
By exercising self-restraint, both in our thoughts and actions, we can establish personal boundaries that safeguard our well-being and prevent chaos from entering our lives.
Proverbs 14:29
“Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.”
This verse highlights the value of being patient and slow to anger. It suggests that those who possess emotional restraint and control have a deeper understanding of situations and are less likely to act foolishly in the grip of anger.
Instead of attempting to control others through an impulsive temper, we can seek wisdom and discernment, allowing us to respond with grace and humility in all circumstances.
Galatians 5:22-23
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things, there is no law.”
These verses remind us of the qualities that should characterize our lives as followers of Christ. Self-control is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit, cultivated through our relationship with God.
By surrendering to the Spirit’s work and allowing Him to guide our actions, we can refrain from seeking to control others and exemplify the virtues of love, kindness, and gentleness in our interactions.
1 Peter 3:3-4
“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”
These verses remind us that true beauty comes from within, specifically from having a gentle and quiet spirit. Instead of focusing on controlling our outer appearance or manipulating others to gain favor, we should cultivate inner virtues that reflect God’s character.
By seeking to control our own hearts and attitudes, we can inspire and influence others through a gentle and peaceful demeanor, ultimately reflecting the beauty of Christ.
Romans 12:17-18
“Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
These verses urge us to refrain from seeking revenge or trying to control others through manipulation or harm. Instead, we are encouraged to pursue peace and strive to do what is honorable in every situation.
By focusing on living peaceably and cultivating harmonious relationships, we can demonstrate God’s love and influence others positively, rather than attempting to control them through negative means.
Colossians 3:12-13
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
These verses remind us of the importance of displaying virtues such as compassion, kindness, humility, and patience in our interactions with others. Instead of trying to control them, we are called to bear with one another and forgive, just as God has forgiven us.
By extending grace and forgiveness, we can foster healthy relationships and avoid the desire to manipulate or control others for our own benefit.
Proverbs 21:2
“Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.”
This verse serves as a reminder that our perspectives and desires may not always align with God’s will. While we may be tempted to control others to fulfill our own desires, it is essential to remember that God sees and understands the true intentions of our hearts.
Instead of seeking control, we should align our hearts with God’s purposes and trust in His sovereignty, allowing Him to guide our relationships and interactions.
Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
These verses encourage us to rely on God’s wisdom and guidance rather than trying to control people or situations through our limited understanding. By acknowledging God in all aspects of our lives, we invite Him to guide our paths and help us make decisions that align with His will.
Trusting in God’s guidance allows us to let go of the need to control others and surrender to His perfect plan, recognizing that He is ultimately in control.
Proverbs 16:9
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”
This verse reminds us that although we may make plans, it is ultimately God who establishes and directs our paths. Trying to control others goes against the understanding that God is the one in control.
By trusting in His providence and guidance, we can release our desire for control and rely on His perfect timing and purposes to unfold in our lives.
Matthew 20:26-27
“It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave.”
These verses challenge our desire for control and power, reminding us that true greatness comes through serving others. Instead of attempting to control others, we are called to humbly serve and prioritize their well-being.
By adopting a servant’s heart, we can influence others through love, sacrifice, and genuine care, rather than manipulation or control.
1 Corinthians 14:33
“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. As in all the churches of the saints.”
This verse highlights God’s nature as a God of peace and order. When we seek to control others, we often introduce confusion and discord into our relationships.
Instead, we should strive for peace, embracing God’s design and allowing His love to guide our interactions, creating an environment that reflects His character.
Titus 2:11-12
“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age.”
These verses remind us that God’s grace has empowered us to live self-controlled lives, free from the compulsion to control others or indulge in worldly passions.
By embracing His transforming grace and surrendering to His guidance, we can live in a way that reflects His character, promoting self-control and righteousness in our relationships.
Romans 2:4
“Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?”
This verse challenges our misguided attempts to control or manipulate others, reminding us of God’s kindness and patience that leads to repentance.
Instead of trying to control people to conform to our will, we should demonstrate God’s love and kindness, trusting that His Spirit will work in their hearts to bring about change.
James 4:7-8
“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”
These verses emphasize the importance of submitting to God and resisting the temptation to control others. By drawing near to God and seeking purity in our hearts, we can overcome the desire for control and instead align ourselves with His will.
In surrendering to God’s authority and relying on His strength, we find freedom from the need to control, trusting in His perfect plan for our lives and the lives of those around us.
Proverbs 19:11
“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.”
This verse encourages us to exercise good judgment and remain slow to anger, choosing to overlook offenses instead of seeking to control or retaliate.
By responding with grace and forgiveness, we can diffuse conflicts and foster peace within our relationships, magnifying God’s glory and reflecting His character.
Galatians 5:13
“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”
These verses remind us that as followers of Christ, we have been called to live in freedom. However, this freedom should not be used to control or manipulate others but rather to serve them in love.
By embracing the call to love and serve one another, we can cultivate healthy relationships based on mutual respect and care, allowing God’s love to flow through us.
1 Thessalonians 4:11-12
“…aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.”
These verses encourage us to focus on living quiet lives, minding our own business, and being diligent in our work. Instead of seeking to control others or meddling in their affairs, we are called to lead by example and depend on God.
By embodying these principles, we can reflect Christ to the world and display a form of influence that is rooted in humility, integrity, and self-control.
Philippians 2:3-4
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.”
These verses teach us to set aside our own desires to control and instead prioritize the needs and interests of others. By embracing humility and selflessness, we can foster healthy relationships and avoid the pitfalls of manipulation.
By surrendering ourselves to God’s will and seeking to serve others, we reflect the selfless love of Christ, fostering an environment of trust, respect, and genuine care.
Romans 13:10
“Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law.”
This verse reminds us that love should be the guiding principle in our interactions with others. Love, as expressed through self-control and genuine care, avoids any attempts to control or harm our neighbors.
By seeking to love others as Christ loves us, we promote healthy relationships and create a positive influence, rather than seeking to control or manipulate for personal gain.