Family relationships can be complicated, and sometimes distance is necessary. The Bible addresses situations where separation is needed to maintain peace or personal well-being. While it encourages family unity, it also provides examples of boundaries for growth and healing. These teachings help us see when distance may be healthy, emphasizing that respect and forgiveness are always central, even when close relationships are challenging.
Also Read: What Does The Bible Say About Choosing A Mate
What Does The Bible Say About Distancing Yourself From Family
Luke 14:26
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.”
This verse may sound harsh, but Jesus is emphasizing the importance of putting Him above all earthly relationships. Following Christ requires a deep devotion and commitment that may sometimes involve making difficult choices even within our own families.
Matthew 10:37
“Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”
Similar to the previous verse, Jesus highlights the need to prioritize our love for Him above loving our family members. This is not to diminish the value of familial relationships, but rather to emphasize the supreme importance of our relationship with God.
Matthew 12:48-50
“He replied to him, ‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ Pointing to his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.’
In this passage, Jesus expands the definition of family to include those who are united by their commitment to following God’s will. While this doesn’t advocate for complete distancing from biological family, it reminds us that spiritual family bonds can be just as strong and important.
Mark 10:29-30
“Truly I tell you,’ Jesus replied, ‘no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life.”
Jesus promises that those who make sacrifices, including distancing themselves from their family for the sake of the Gospel, will receive immeasurable blessings in this life and in the life to come. This encourages believers to trust in God’s provision and not to fear the consequences of following Him.
1 Corinthians 7:15
“But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.”
In cases where a family member chooses to distance themselves from us due to our faith, this verse assures us that we are not bound to strive for reconciliation. God desires His followers to live in peace, and sometimes that means accepting the choices of others.
Matthew 19:29
“And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.”
This verse reinforces the idea that any sacrifices made in terms of family distancing for the sake of Jesus will not go unnoticed or unrewarded. God’s blessings and eternal life await those who prioritize Him above all else.
Proverbs 18:24
“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
In times when we may be separated from our biological family, God provides us with steadfast friends who can become like family to us. These friends are loyal, trustworthy, and supportive, filling the void that may be left when distancing ourselves from family.
Matthew 8:21-22
“Another disciple said to him, ‘Lord, first let me go and bury my father.’ But Jesus told him, ‘Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.’
This interaction suggests that following Jesus takes precedence over family obligations, even in times of grief. While it may seem harsh, Jesus is emphasizing the urgency of commitment to Him and the call to prioritize the kingdom of God above all else.
Acts 21:8-9
“Leaving the next day, we reached Caesarea and stayed at the house of Philip the evangelist, one of the Seven. He had four unmarried daughters who prophesied.”
Philip’s daughters chose a life of singleness for the sake of their ministry and service to God. This demonstrates that following God’s call may sometimes mean distancing oneself from traditional family roles in order to fully devote oneself to His work.
1 Timothy 5:8
“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
While this verse emphasizes the importance of caring for our own families, it does not negate the need to prioritize God above all else. It reminds us of our responsibility to provide for our loved ones and maintain familial relationships, but not at the cost of our faith.
Matthew 12:46-50
“While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, ‘Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.’ He replied to him, ‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ Pointing to his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers.'”
This passage further emphasizes that spiritual kinship through faith takes precedence over biological relationships. Jesus exemplifies the idea that those who are united in their commitment to God are considered family and share a deep bond.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11
“To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.”
This verse reminds us of the importance of maintaining our marital relationships and striving for reconciliation if separation occurs. It encourages spouses to prioritize the sanctity of marriage, even if distancing from extended family becomes necessary.
Mark 3:31-35
“Then Jesus’ mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him. A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, ‘Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you.’ ‘Who are my mother and my brothers?’ he asked. Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.'”
In this account, Jesus reinforces the idea that spiritual kinship surpasses earthly relationships. He emphasizes that those who do God’s will are considered family to Him, illustrating the importance of prioritizing our commitment to God above all else.
2 Corinthians 6:14
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
While this verse is primarily about marriage, it can also be applied to family relationships. It encourages believers not to form close partnerships or align themselves closely with those who do not share their faith, as it can lead to spiritual conflict and compromise.
Genesis 2:24
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”
This verse speaks to the establishment of a new family unit through marriage. While it does not advocate for complete detachment from one’s parents, it does emphasize the priority of the marital bond and the importance of building a strong, united foundation within the new family.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.”
This passage warns against aligning ourselves with those who exhibit ungodly behavior and lack a genuine love for God. While it doesn’t explicitly mention family, it implies the need to distance ourselves from negative influences, even if they happen to be our own relatives.
Acts 20:35
“In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’
This verse reminds us of the importance of selflessly serving and helping others. While it doesn’t advocate for distancing from family, it encourages us to prioritize acts of love, including providing support and assistance, which may occasionally require us to separate ourselves from our immediate family.
1 Samuel 2:25
“If one person sins against another, God may mediate for the offender; but if anyone sins against the Lord, who will intercede for them?’ His sons, however, did not listen to their father’s rebuke, for it was the Lord’s will to put them to death.”
Although this verse pertains to Eli’s sons, it serves as a reminder that even within families, there may be those who choose to turn away from God and persist in sin. In such cases, distancing ourselves may be necessary to protect our own faith and uphold God’s righteousness.
Proverbs 22:6
“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it.”
This verse exhorts parents to raise their children according to God’s ways and teachings. While it doesn’t explicitly address distancing, it implies the importance of establishing a firm spiritual foundation in our children’s lives to minimize the likelihood of them straying from the faith.
Matthew 10:34-37
“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn ” a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—a man’s enemies will be the ” members of his own household. Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their ” son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”
Jesus explains that following Him may cause division within families due to contrasting beliefs and commitments. While it is not an encouragement to actively drive a wedge between family members, it serves as a reminder that loyalty to God must always take precedence over familial loyalty.
Ephesians 6:1-3
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’—which is the first commandment with a ” promise—’so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.'”
This verse promotes the importance of respecting and obeying parents, emphasizing that honoring them is a commandment with a promise of blessings. While distancing oneself may become necessary, it should not be done in a dishonorable or disrespectful manner.
Colossians 3:20-21
“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become ” discouraged.”
Similar to the previous verse, this passage highlights the significance of children obeying their parents. It also calls fathers to refrain from treating their children in a harmful or discouraging manner. While it may not directly address distancing, it emphasizes maintaining healthy relationships within the family unit.
Ruth 1:16-17
“But Ruth replied, ‘Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your ” people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ” ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.’
Although this verse is about the loyalty between Ruth and her mother-in-law Naomi, it exemplifies the commitment and dedication that exists within family relationships. It serves as a reminder that, in certain circumstances, family bonds may outweigh the need for distancing.
2 Timothy 1:5
“I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, ” now lives in you also.”
This verse alludes to the positive influence that strong faith within a family can have on future generations. It emphasizes the significance of passing down our faith and nurturing spiritual connections within our own families.
1 Peter 3:1-2
“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over ” without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”
While this passage specifically addresses wives, it highlights the transformative power of living out our faith. By exhibiting godliness and reverence, we may influence our family members who have not yet embraced the Word, potentially leading them closer to God.
In the Bible, there are various scriptures that touch on the topic of distancing oneself from family. It is important to approach these passages with discernment and to consider them in the context of the overall message of the Bible, which emphasizes love, unity, and honoring relationships. While these verses may suggest instances where separation or distance from family members could occur due to differing beliefs or priorities, they do not advocate for the complete abandonment or rejection of family bonds. Instead, they encourage believers to remain steadfast in their commitment to God and to prioritize their relationship with Him above all else. Ultimately, the overarching message of Scripture is one of love and reconciliation, so these verses should not be used as justification for causing harm or division within our families. Rather, they serve as a reminder to navigate familial relationships with wisdom, discernment, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit.