Top 150 Funny Sex Quotes (With Meanings)

Laughter is a great way to lighten the mood, especially when it comes to topics that can be a bit awkward. Sex is a natural part of life, but talking about it doesn’t always have to be serious. Sometimes, a funny quote can break the ice and lead to some enjoyable conversations. Whether you’re looking to share a laugh with friends or just want a giggle for yourself, funny sex quotes can be the perfect addition to your day.

Today, we’re sharing some hilarious quotes that tackle the subject of sex with humor. These quotes will not only make you chuckle but may also remind you not to take things too seriously. So, sit back and get ready to enjoy some laughs that celebrate the lighter side of intimacy!

Funny Sex Quotes

“I think I prefer you like this. You’re kinda cute. You’re just like a little baby.”Tiffany Valentine

This quote suggests that sometimes we appreciate the more innocent or playful aspects of intimacy. It’s a reminder that affection can be light-hearted, allowing us to connect on an adorable level. We can all agree that reducing the seriousness can make relationships feel more fun and enjoyable.

“Sex is like air. It’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.”Tina Fey

“I’m not a hoarder, I’m a collector of the things that can make me happy… like sex.”Jenna Marbles

“I love sex. It’s just that sometimes I wish it was more like riding a bike – you know, easier and with fewer accidents.”Jason Segel

“Sex is like pizza. Even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.”Anonymous

“Monogamy is like the IKEA furniture of relationships—it’s great until you realize you have to put it together yourself.”Sharon Stone

“If sex is a pain in the ass, you’re doing it wrong.”Anonymous

“I like sex. It’s fun. But I don’t want to do it every day. Sometimes, I just want to scroll through my phone in bed.”Jessica Knappett

“When I listen to a talk show, I hear one thing: If we didn’t talk about sex, we’d have nothing to talk about!”David Letterman

“I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at a time.”Charles M. Schulz

“Why do we close our eyes when we kiss? Because we’re not in a power struggle!”Anonymous

“I remember the first time I had sex. I was scared. It was like buying a new car: I was excited but not fully prepared.”Emma Stone

“Sex is like a math problem. Can you solve it without losing count?”Anonymous

“There are two types of people in the world: those who like sex and those who are lying.”James L. Brooks

“I think I’ll keep a sex diary. A journal of years of my life in bed, full of my passion and my pillow fights!”Candace Bushnell

“Sometimes I need a concentrative session in the art of sexing—like yoga. I need some quiet focus.”Kaley Cuoco

“I like my sex how I like my tea: hot, strong, and stirring!”Anonymous

“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a taco!”Anonymous

“If loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right. But if loving you is right, let’s get it on!”Marlon Wayans

“I’m just like everyone else. I enjoy a nice hot cup of sex every morning!”Anonymous

“I can’t believe I wasted my entire life just to find out that ‘sex appeal’ was exactly that: an appeal!”Richard Ayoade

“Don’t take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway, especially in bed!”Anonymous

“Because of you, I can feel myself in a whole new light. Especially in the bedroom!”Anonymous

“I want to celebrate with you, life! Let’s make love like 18-year-olds!”Patti Smith

“I don’t need to be at a party when I have sex—my own bed is a party place!”Anonymous

“Love without sex is like a tree without leaves. It can exist, but it’s not as pleasurable!”Anonymous

“I’ve learned that the best time to take a break is right after you just had sex!”Anonymous

“Why don’t women wear watches? Because there’s no time for sex!”Anonymous

“I find sex like playing chess. It’s a game of strategy and sometimes, you lose the queen!”Anonymous

“Sex is great, but have you ever tried a good dessert?”Anonymous

“Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it!”George Carlin

“Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day and you can have sex!”Anonymous

“Couples who build together stay together. Otherwise, it’s just a matter of time.”Anonymous

“Sex is the only game where you earn money and keep score!”Anonymous

“To me, sex is like a game of poker. It’s all about how many chips you’re willing to put in!”Anonymous

“The only time we waste is during sex if it’s bad!”Anonymous

“Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is 100%!”R.D. Laing

“I can tell you the truth: the best sex is free!”Anonymous

“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you!”Steven Wright

“When you’re in love, every day can feel like a honeymoon. Unless, of course, you’re just not in the mood!”Anonymous

“It’s easy to lose yourself during sex. I don’t recommend it!”Anonymous

“There should be an app for sex. Oh wait… there is! Just call it Tinder!”Anonymous

“If at first, you don’t find the right position, try again!”Anonymous

“I tried to be normal once. Worst five minutes of my life!”Anonymous

“Good sex is like good coffee: hot, strong, and keeps you up all night!”Anonymous

“Sex is a lot like math; it’s not about how often you do it, but how well you do it!”Anonymous

“If kissing is a language, I want to be fluent!”Anonymous

“Keep the romance alive! Sometimes all it takes is a good pun or two!”Anonymous

“Sex is like a roller coaster: it has its ups and downs – but you just need to hold on for the ride!”Anonymous

“A day without sex is like a day without sunshine. A little dull!”Anonymous

“I finally learned how to use my vibrator… I think it was a good investment!”Anonymous

“If love had a face, it would probably have a smile on it!”Anonymous

“Love is friendship set on fire – and sometimes, that fire gets a little too hot!”Anonymous

“The best part about sex? It’s a workout without the gym membership!”Anonymous

“If only I could exercise my love life like I do my gym life!”Anonymous

“Wanting sex is like wanting a cookie – it’s perfectly natural!”Anonymous

“Life is like a box of chocolates, but sometimes you end up with a crummy one!”Anonymous

“All you need is love! But sometimes, a little bit of sex can help!”Anonymous

“Some call it sex, others call it ‘passionate entanglements’—I’ll stick with sex!”Anonymous

“My goal is to leave this world knowing that I had great sex and ate great food!”Anonymous

“When you play with fire, sometimes you get burned. But sometimes you just feel the heat!”Anonymous

“Let’s make love like it’s our favorite hobby—something we enjoy doing for the fun of it!”Anonymous

“I think a good relationship is like a taco: full of flavor, a little spicy, and best enjoyed together!”Anonymous

“In the end, it’s not about a perfect relationship; it’s about finding someone who knows your quirks and loves you more for them!”Anonymous

“Sex is great; ice cream is better. But why not have both?”Anonymous

Final Thoughts

It’s evident that humor can play a significant role in our discussions about intimacy. We can approach the topic of sex with a light heart, realizing that laughter can help break the ice and create deeper connections. The funny sex quotes we’ve shared illuminate various aspects of relationships, reminding us to appreciate the good times while navigating complexities with a smile.

By embracing humor in our intimate lives, we encourage open conversations without fear of judgment. Whether we find these quotes relatable, silly, or inspiring, they help us remember to celebrate the lighter side of intimacy, creating cherished memories alongside those we love.

If you’re interested in further exploring this topic, consider checking out more funny insights or browsing through various aspects of intimacy and relationships. There’s plenty to discover, including valuable lessons from Bible verses about the sexually immoral or engaging with amusing NSFW puns that can spark laughter!