The journey of parenthood is filled with joy and challenges, and when a child is born outside of marriage, it may come with added societal expectations and pressures. However, love and commitment are what truly shape a family, not the circumstances of birth.
Also Read: What Does The Bible Say About seasons
What Does The Bible Say About having a child outside of marriage
Genesis 16:2
Sarai said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.”
This verse highlights the story of Sarai and Abram, where Sarai suggested that Abram have a child with her slave Hagar. It illustrates the flawed human decision-making process and the consequences that can arise from seeking alternative means to fulfill a desire for a child. It emphasizes the importance of seeking God’s guidance and following His plan for our lives, rather than taking matters into our own hands.
Genesis 19:36-38
So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father. The older daughter had a son, and she named him Moab; he is the father of the Moabites of today. The younger daughter also had a son, and she named him Ben-Ammi; he is the father of the Ammonites of today.”
This passage recounts the disturbing story of Lot’s daughters, who, after fleeing the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, resorted to incestuous relationships with their father. It serves as a cautionary tale, illustrating the consequences and brokenness that can arise from straying from God’s design for sexual relationships and the sanctity of marriage. It reminds us of the importance of upholding God’s standards and seeking His guidance in all aspects of our lives, including our relationships and family planning.
Matthew 1:18
This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit.
This verse tells the miraculous story of the virgin birth of Jesus Christ. It highlights God’s intervention in human affairs and demonstrates His ability to work outside the boundaries of human understanding. The birth of Jesus serves as a reminder that God is capable of bringing forth life in extraordinary ways, showcasing His sovereignty and authority over all aspects of creation, including the conception and birth of a child. It emphasizes the importance of trusting in God’s plan, even when it may defy human expectations or societal norms.
John 8:41
You are doing the works of your own father.” “We are not illegitimate children,” they protested. “The only Father we have is God himself.”
In this verse, Jesus engages in a conversation with the Pharisees, who were questioning His authority and legitimacy. They took offense at His words, insinuating that Jesus was an illegitimate child. However, Jesus asserts that His true father is God, affirming His divine origin and earthly mission. This verse serves as a reminder that our identity and legitimacy are ultimately determined by our relationship with God, not by societal customs or judgments. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing and embracing our true identity as children of God, regardless of our circumstances or the opinions of others.
1 Corinthians 7:14
For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
This verse speaks to the situation where one spouse is a believer and the other is not. It assures believers that their union with an unbelieving spouse does not render their children impure or invalidated in the eyes of God. Instead, it highlights the potential for sanctification through the faith of one parent. This verse provides encouragement and reminds us that God’s grace extends to our families, regardless of the circumstances surrounding the birth or upbringing of our children. It underscores the power of faith and the potential for God to work in and through our familial relationships.
Ruth 4:13
So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife. When he made love to her, the Lord enabled her to conceive, and she gave birth to a son.
This verse tells the story of Ruth, a Moabite woman who married Boaz. Despite Ruth’s foreign origin and unconventional circumstances, God blessed her with the ability to conceive and bear a child. This demonstrates God’s ability to bring forth life and fulfill His plans for His people, irrespective of societal norms or expectations. It serves as a reminder that God’s sovereignty is not limited by human perceptions or circumstances, and He can bring beauty and purpose out of unlikely situations. It encourages us to trust in God’s provision and timing, knowing that He can overcome any obstacles or judgments we may face.
Matthew 1:24-25
When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.
In this verse, Joseph, upon receiving divine guidance from an angel, chose to marry Mary, despite her conceiving Jesus through the Holy Spirit. This act of obedience demonstrates Joseph’s faithfulness to God’s plan and his willingness to embrace the unique circumstances surrounding the birth of Jesus. It showcases the significance of trusting in God’s guidance and stepping out in obedience, even when faced with societal judgment or misunderstanding. It serves as a reminder that God’s ways are higher than our ways, and His plans often require us to step outside our comfort zones and trust in His faithfulness.
Psalm 127:3
Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.
This verse emphasizes the divine perspective on children, viewing them as a blessing and a reward from God. It underscores the intrinsic value and blessing that children bring to our lives, regardless of the circumstances surrounding their conception or birth. It reminds us of the sacred responsibility we have as parents to nurture and care for our children, recognizing that they are entrusted to us by God. This verse encourages us to cherish and value every child as a precious gift from the Lord, affirming their worth and significance in the eyes of God.
Proverbs 17:6
Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.
This verse celebrates the intergenerational bond between children, parents, and grandparents. It highlights the joy and honor that grandparents experience through the presence of their grandchildren. It also acknowledges the pride that children feel towards their parents. This verse reminds us of the vital role that family plays in our lives, regardless of the circumstances surrounding our parent-child relationships. It emphasizes the importance of cultivating strong family ties and cherishing the blessings that come from the generations that precede and follow us.
Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
This verse addresses the responsibility of fathers to raise their children in a nurturing and godly manner. It admonishes fathers not to provoke or frustrate their children but to guide them in the ways of the Lord. This verse serves as a reminder to parents of their role in the spiritual formation of their children and the importance of providing them with the necessary guidance, discipline, and instruction. It underscores the significance of modeling Christ-like behavior and fostering an environment that fosters spiritual growth and a deepening relationship with God.
Psalm 139:13-14
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
In this powerful passage, the psalmist reflects on the intrinsic value and purpose of human life. It acknowledges God as the creator of life, intimately involved in the formation of each individual in their mother’s womb. It affirms that every person is fearfully and wonderfully made, embodying the beauty and intentionality of God’s creation. This verse reminds us of the sanctity of life, regardless of the circumstances of conception or birth. It calls us to appreciate and cherish the unique qualities and purpose inherent in every human life, recognizing that each person is a reflection of God’s divine design.
Proverbs 22:6
Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
In this verse, we are reminded of the impact that early upbringing and guidance can have on the lives of children. It emphasizes the importance of instilling godly values and principles in their upbringing, as it can shape their paths for the rest of their lives. This verse encourages parents and guardians to provide a firm foundation based on God’s Word, cultivating an environment that fosters spiritual growth and development. It offers hope that children who receive proper guidance and training in the ways of the Lord will continue to walk in righteousness as they grow older. As parents, we should strive to raise our children in a manner that is pleasing to God, knowing that it will have a lasting impact on their lives.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7
These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
This verse emphasizes the importance of nurturing a godly legacy within our families. It calls for the integration of God’s commandments and teachings into every aspect of our lives and interactions with our children. It encourages continuous engagement with our children, discussing and modeling God’s truth and principles in all situations and moments of daily life. This verse reminds us that passing on our faith and cultivating a strong spiritual foundation requires intentional and consistent effort. It invites us to create an environment where conversations about God and His Word are woven into the fabric of our family lives, promoting spiritual growth and an understanding of God’s love and truth.
Psalm 103:13
As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.
This verse draws a parallel between the compassionate nature of earthly fathers and the abounding compassion of our Heavenly Father. It serves as a reminder of God’s deep love and concern for His children, mirroring the tender care and affection that earthly parents have for their own children. This verse reassures us of God’s unfailing love and compassion, regardless of our circumstances or mistakes. It encourages us to approach God with childlike faith, knowing that He is always ready to extend His grace and compassionate understanding to those who fear Him.
Psalm 78:4
We will not hide them from their descendants; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done.
This verse emphasizes the importance of passing on the stories and testimonies of God’s faithfulness to future generations. It encourages us to actively share with our children and grandchildren the goodness of God and His mighty works. By doing so, we instill a legacy of faith, inspiring younger generations to trust in God and seek Him in their lives. This verse reminds us of the significance of sharing our own personal experiences with God, recounting the miracles He has performed, and testifying to His faithfulness throughout history. It underscores the importance of generational transmission of faith, ensuring that future generations have an understanding of God’s power and His desire to be intimately involved in their lives.
Mark 10:13-14
People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”
This passage showcases Jesus’ deep love and embrace for children. It underscores the value and significance of children in the eyes of God and admonishes disciples not to hinder their approach to Him. It reminds us that children possess a profound innocence and vulnerability that exemplify the qualities that allow us to enter and understand the Kingdom of God. This verse challenges us to view children with the same love and acceptance that Jesus displayed, recognizing the importance of nurturing their faith and ensuring they encounter the love and grace of Jesus, who desires their presence in His kingdom.
Psalm 113:9
He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord.
This verse celebrates God’s ability to bring joy and fulfillment to those who have desired children but have not been able to conceive. It recognizes God as the one who provides contentment for those who have longed for a family. This verse brings hope and encouragement to individuals who may be struggling with infertility or have faced challenges in having children. It reminds them of God’s power and sovereignty in providing happiness and meaning in their lives, even if their paths to parenthood may look different from what they initially envisioned.
John 16:21
A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.
In this verse, Jesus uses the analogy of childbirth to teach His disciples about the temporary nature of pain and the subsequent joy that follows. It serves as a reminder that the difficult or challenging aspects of the birthing process are overshadowed by the joy and blessing of bringing a child into the world. This verse provides encouragement to expecting parents, reminding them that the trials and discomforts they may face in the journey of bringing a child forth are ultimately outweighed by the joy and love that come with the arrival of their child. It invites them to focus on the beauty and significance of their child’s birth, knowing that the pain endured pales in comparison to the joy experienced.
Isaiah 54:1
“Sing, barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,” says the Lord.
This verse speaks directly to women who have experienced barrenness or have longed for children but have not been able to conceive. It assures them of God’s promise to bring forth fruitfulness and increase even in seemingly impossible situations. This verse offers consolation and hope, encouraging those who have felt desolate and deprived to rejoice and celebrate, for God can bring forth a multitude even from what appears to be a place of lack. It reminds us of God’s miraculous ability to fulfill the deepest desires of our hearts, affirming that His plans and timing are perfect, even when we face moments of uncertainty or longing.
Psalm 127:4-5
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.
This verse uses the imagery of children as arrows in the hands of a warrior, symbolizing the strength and blessings that children bring to a family. It depicts them as a source of joy, protection, and support. This verse highlights the importance and value of raising children amidst a community, where they can grow up to face the challenges of life equipped with strength, love, and wisdom. It emphasizes that a full quiver, symbolizing a family with many children, is a sign of blessing and honor. This verse encourages us to view children as gifts from God, understanding the profound impact they can have on our lives and the world around us.
Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
In this verse, Paul encourages perseverance in doing good, knowing that there will be a reward in due time. This verse can be applied to the context of raising children, as it highlights the importance of not growing weary in our parental responsibilities and the investments we make in nurturing and training our children. It reminds us that parenting is a labor of love that requires patience, endurance, and a commitment to doing what is right. This verse offers hope and reassurance to parents, assuring them that their efforts will bear fruit if they remain steadfast and faithful, trusting in God’s timing and faithfulness.
1 Timothy 5:8
Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
This verse emphasizes the significance of providing for our families, which includes the responsibility of caring for our children. It reminds us that parenting involves much more than the act of conceiving or giving birth to a child. It encompasses the ongoing responsibility of meeting their basic needs, offering emotional support, and nurturing their growth and development. This verse underscores the importance of fulfilling our familial obligations, as it is reflective of our faith and commitment to God. It challenges us to prioritize the welfare and well-being of our children, recognizing that our actions within the family unit can profoundly impact their lives and shape their understanding of God’s love and provision.