John Mulaney is a hilarious comedian and writer known for his clever humor and unique storytelling style. His witty observations about everyday life, relationships, and growing up make people laugh and think at the same time. Fans love his sharp jokes and funny characters, which show how he sees the world around him.
Today, we’ll share some of the best John Mulaney quotes. Whether you’re a long-time fan or just learning about his comedy, these quotes will make you smile and maybe even nod in agreement. Get ready to enjoy some memorable lines that capture his one-of-a-kind personality!
John Mulaney Quotes
“I have a very strong feeling that the only thing that will really connect us is if one of us gets murdered.” – John Mulaney
This quote reminds us that life can be absurd and funny, especially when we find ourselves in strange situations. It speaks to the odd bond created by shared experiences, even if they’re darkly humorous. We might find comfort in laughter while navigating the craziness of our lives, appreciating how odd connections can bring people together in unexpected ways.
“I was a kid who did not want to be a child. I wanted to be a grown-up.” – John Mulaney
This quote captures the essence of childhood innocence and the desire to grow up quickly. We often yearn for responsibilities, forgetting the joys of being carefree. John Mulaney’s reflection plays on that longing, helping us see that growing up comes with its own set of challenges. Embracing our inner child can remind us to enjoy life’s simple pleasures.
“When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are going to be right about that.” – John Mulaney
“I don’t want to be a part of this… but I want to comment on it.” – John Mulaney
“The best part of a party is getting to relive your childhood. That’s how I feel about parties.” – John Mulaney
“I was a real ‘no worries’ kid. I didn’t worry about anything. That’s how I knew I was going to be a comedian.” – John Mulaney
“Every good comedian has a bit of a sad clown in them.” – John Mulaney
“I keep my expectations low, but I also keep my hopes high.” – John Mulaney
“I was a kid, and I loved the idea of staying up late. I just couldn’t help myself. I felt like I was going to miss something.” – John Mulaney
“The first time I made my mother laugh, I put her to shame.” – John Mulaney
“Being a comedian is just you telling the few people in your life that it’s okay to laugh at one or two of your problems.” – John Mulaney
“I think there’s something very funny about a person who looks completely put together but is crazy.” – John Mulaney
“‘I love being alone.’ said no kid ever.” – John Mulaney
“Every kid feels like their parents are the biggest part of their life until they come to understand they’re ridiculous.” – John Mulaney
“I was just a kid who was much too focused on confirmation over fun, and that’s a heavy burden to carry at 7.” – John Mulaney
“I was walking on a beach, and I saw a couple sitting together enjoying the sunset. And I thought, ‘Oh good.'” – John Mulaney
“What is it like to lose a father? Well, I don’t know, but what I do want is to take everything I’ve learned from this experience and build it into a Netflix special.” – John Mulaney
“When you’re an adult, it’s so much better to be slightly out of control than completely under control.” – John Mulaney
“You have to watch out for people who don’t laugh on the inside. That’s the real danger.” – John Mulaney
“You know, I think there’s a lot to be said for having a good time out of the house when you’re seven.” – John Mulaney
“People are always asking me, ‘What would you do if you won the lottery?’ I don’t know — probably just take a nap!” – John Mulaney
“When I was a little kid, I thought that maybe someday I would be a doctor or an astronaut. Or a doctor astronaut! I’m not sure what I thought it meant.” – John Mulaney
“People always say, ‘If you can’t laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?’ And I’m like, ‘Everyone.'” – John Mulaney
“I love how people say, ‘The youth is the future!’ I’m like, ‘But what are they doing for me now?'” – John Mulaney
“I used to think being sad was a bad thing and I wanted to be happy all the time. But, everyone has sadness and that’s okay!” – John Mulaney
“Everyone is ‘getting their life together,’ but nobody talks about how much work that takes!” – John Mulaney
“It’s great to see people in their 20s who are totally convinced they’ve got life figured out.” – John Mulaney
“I can’t believe they’re giving me a chance; I hope I don’t blow it! But if I do, I’ll go home and have a snack!” – John Mulaney
“I don’t like when people say, ‘You should have a plan!’ Plans never work out!” – John Mulaney
“My favorite game is ‘Get out of my way!’ It’s not a game; it’s just how I drive!” – John Mulaney
“If everybody in this world just took a moment to be a little kinder, it would change everything!” – John Mulaney
“If we quit smoking, we’d have a lot more fun!” – John Mulaney
“I feel like we should just be real. We’ve never seen a dinosaur!” – John Mulaney
“There’s no ‘little things’ in life; it’s all about the little things!” – John Mulaney
“Comedy is just a long way of saying, ‘You have to laugh as hard as you can at the things that should never be funny.'” – John Mulaney
“I’m excited about getting older because I still want to be active but without all the ‘young person’ nonsense!” – John Mulaney
“The greatest miracle is that people can respond to our needs without being asked!” – John Mulaney
“I look forward to the days when I can just wear sweatpants to every event!” – John Mulaney
“I want to take a deep breath and realize we should all just chill out!” – John Mulaney
“I have a lot of fun when I’m not trying to impress someone!” – John Mulaney
“People ask me, ‘How do you write about your life?’ And I say, ‘I don’t — I write about not writing about it!'” – John Mulaney
“I’ve had some time to think, and I want to apologize to anyone who’s been negatively impacted by my fun! ” – John Mulaney
“I just want to go home and let my dog take care of me!” – John Mulaney
“I feel like I’m past the point of being annoyed by anything!” – John Mulaney
“I think everyone should just try to be a little kinder to each other!” – John Mulaney
“Every day I wake up and think, ‘Today is the day I stop eating junk food!’ And then it’s like, ‘Well, maybe tomorrow…'” – John Mulaney
“I think the most important thing is to have fun with your friends!” – John Mulaney
“You don’t have to be good at something to have fun doing it!” – John Mulaney
“We need to stop confusing being productive with being busy!” – John Mulaney
“I used to hate going out, but now I really love spending more time at home!” – John Mulaney
“I exist in a state of sheer panic, which people find charming!” – John Mulaney
“I don’t believe in failure, just in varying degrees of success!” – John Mulaney
“Everyone’s like ‘Oh, just be yourself!’ But that’s terrifying!” – John Mulaney
“It’s important to cherish every interaction because every moment is an opportunity!” – John Mulaney
“I like to think I’ll keep getting better at it all, as long as I keep laughing!” – John Mulaney
“The world is a big place, but we’re all connected through laughter!” – John Mulaney
In celebrating the bonds we forge through laughter, Mulaney captures the essence of human connections. His words remind us of the power of joy, compelling us to cherish experiences that unite us. We can capitalize on these opportunities to thrive collectively, ensuring that as much as we entertain, we also cultivate meaningful relationships that stand the test of time.
Final Thoughts
As we explore these John Mulaney quotes, it’s clear that his humor paints a vivid picture of everyday life. His unique observations inspire us to find laughter even in difficult situations. Mulaney’s words encourage us to embrace our true selves, celebrating both our quirks and imperfections. By sharing his experiences, he invites us to connect through humor and find joy in our shared journeys.
Let these quotes remind us of the importance of friendship, compassion, and the power of laughter. By taking inspiration from John Mulaney, we can navigate life’s challenges with a smile and appreciate the little moments that make our lives special. Together, we can continue embracing the joy that comes from sharing laughter and love.
For more topics to explore, consider checking out fun content related to comedy or take a look at uplifting quotes that resonate with your spirit.