Living together before marriage has become more common, but what does the Bible say about it? The Bible has strong views on marriage and the covenant it represents. Understanding these views can help couples make informed decisions about their relationships and whether cohabitation aligns with their faith values.
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What Does The Bible Say About living together before marriage
1 Corinthians 6:18
“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”
This verse emphasizes the importance of abstaining from sexual immorality. Living together before marriage can lead to temptation and compromise in the area of sexual purity. It encourages believers to flee from such situations and honor God with their bodies.
By abstaining from living together before marriage, couples can honor and respect the sanctity of marriage, choosing to wait for the commitment and covenant that marriage represents.
Colossians 3:5
“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”
This verse calls believers to put to death the sinful desires of the flesh, including sexual immorality. Living together before marriage can be a breeding ground for worldly temptations and lustful desires. It urges believers to recognize the seriousness of this sin and seek to overcome it through the power of God’s Spirit.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals demonstrate their commitment to living a pure and holy life, dedicated to pleasing God rather than indulging in sinful desires.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-4
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor.”
God’s will for believers is to live a sanctified life, which includes abstaining from sexual immorality. Living together before marriage can directly contradict this commandment and can hinder one’s pursuit of holiness.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals strive to honor God by embracing His call to live in purity, self-control, and reverence for Him.
Hebrews 13:4
“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
This verse highlights the importance of honoring the institution of marriage and keeping the marriage bed undefiled. Living together before marriage can be seen as a disregard for the sacredness of marriage and can defile the covenant relationship that God intends.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals uphold the value and dignity of marriage, recognizing that God holds all accountable for their actions and choices in the realm of sexual purity.
Ephesians 5:3
“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”
Believers are called to live lives that are free from any form of sexual immorality or impurity. Living together before marriage can easily lead to compromising one’s purity and giving in to immoral desires.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals demonstrate their commitment to honor God by pursuing righteousness and purity, recognizing that these are fitting for those who belong to Him.
1 Corinthians 7:1-2
“Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: ‘It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.’ But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.”
In this passage, the apostle Paul addresses the issue of sexual temptation and encourages believers to pursue marriage as a means of satisfying their sexual desires in a God-honoring way.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, couples can maintain sexual purity and wait for the appropriate time to enter into the marriage covenant, where their sexual desires can be fully and rightly fulfilled.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10
“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”
This verse reminds believers that those who persist in sexual immorality will not inherit the kingdom of God. Living together before marriage can fall into the category of sexual immorality and hinder one’s relationship with God.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals demonstrate their desire to turn away from sexual sin and align themselves with God’s righteous standards, seeking to inherit the kingdom of God.
Galatians 5:19-21
“Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”
In this passage, the apostle Paul lists sexual immorality as one of the works of the flesh that prevent individuals from inheriting the kingdom of God. Living together before marriage can fall into this category and hinder one’s spiritual growth and relationship with God.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals demonstrate their commitment to living a life that is guided by the Holy Spirit rather than being driven by the desires of the flesh, seeking to walk in righteousness and inherit the kingdom of God.
1 Peter 2:11
“Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.”
Believers are encouraged to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which can lead to war within their souls. Living together before marriage can create an environment where such passions and desires are constantly challenged and can jeopardize one’s spiritual well-being.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals seek to guard their hearts, minds, and souls from the destructive effects of worldly passions, choosing instead to trust in God’s guidance and submit to His will.
Proverbs 5:18-19
“Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.”
This verse celebrates the intimacy and joy found within the marital relationship. Living together before marriage can shortchange the depth of this joy that comes through the commitment and covenant of marriage.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals prioritize the future blessing and joy that can be experienced within the covenant of marriage, eagerly anticipating the unique and wholesome intimacy that comes with it.
Proverbs 6:32
“But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself.”
This verse warns about the destructive consequences of adultery. Living together before marriage can contribute to a mindset that may lead to adultery and the destruction it brings to individuals, relationships, and families.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals seek to protect themselves and their future spouses from the devastation of adultery, valuing and preserving the sanctity of marriage.
Titus 2:11-12
“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age.”
This verse highlights the transforming power of God’s grace, which enables believers to live self-controlled and godly lives. Living together before marriage can reflect worldly passions rather than the self-control and righteousness God calls us to.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals demonstrate their reliance on God’s grace to help them resist worldly temptations, embracing a lifestyle characterized by self-control and godliness.
2 Timothy 2:22
“So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”
This verse encourages believers to flee from youthful passions and pursue a life marked by righteousness, faith, love, and peace. Living together before marriage can easily be fueled by youthful passions rather than a desire to honor God.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals actively pursue a life that aligns with God’s values and seek the support and fellowship of fellow believers who also strive to live with purity and integrity.
Romans 6:12-13
“Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.”
This verse encourages believers to resist allowing sin to reign in their bodies, making them obey its passions. Living together before marriage can result in yielding to sinful desires rather than presenting oneself to God as an instrument for righteousness.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals present their bodies and lives to God, acknowledging His transformative work within them and offering themselves as instruments for His righteous purposes.
Romans 8:5
“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.”
This verse contrasts the mindset and focus of those who live according to the flesh and those who live according to the Spirit. Living together before marriage can reflect a mindset based on worldly desires rather than a focus on the things of the Spirit.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals intentionally set their minds on the things of the Spirit, seeking to align their thoughts, desires, and actions with the will of God and the values of His kingdom.
Romans 13:13
“Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy.”
This verse urges believers to conduct themselves in a manner that is honorable and pleasing to God. Living together before marriage can involve engaging in sexual immorality and sensuality, which are contrary to this biblical exhortation.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals commit to walking in the light, avoiding behaviors and situations that can potentially compromise their character and Christian witness.
Matthew 5:27-28
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
In this passage, Jesus elevates the standard of righteousness to the level of the heart, condemning not only the act of adultery but also the lustful intentions of the heart. Living together before marriage can foster an environment where lustful thoughts and intentions can easily develop.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals commit to guarding their hearts and minds, striving for purity in their thoughts, and aligning their desires with God’s intentions for healthy and holy relationships.
Matthew 5:32
“But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
Jesus emphasizes the seriousness and sanctity of the marriage covenant in this verse. Living together before marriage can undermine the significance of marriage and increase the likelihood of divorce.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals respect and honor the sacredness of marriage, recognizing that a commitment to marital fidelity is crucial for a healthy and lasting union.
Matthew 15:19
“For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.”
This verse highlights the connection between the heart and one’s actions. Living together before marriage can be associated with sexual immorality, which Jesus identifies as a sin that stems from the heart.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals acknowledge the need for a transformed heart through the power of the Holy Spirit, desiring to refrain from actions and behaviors that are contrary to God’s commands.
Matthew 19:4-6
“He answered, ‘Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
In this passage, Jesus affirms the divine design and purpose for marriage, emphasizing the permanence and unity of the marital relationship. Living together before marriage can undermine this foundational principle of God’s creation.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals demonstrate their commitment to God’s design for marriage, desiring to honor and preserve the bond that God intends for a man and a woman.
Mark 10:8
“And the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.”
This verse echoes the concept of the unity and oneness that occurs within marriage. Living together before marriage can blur the lines of commitment and hinder the experience of true unity within a marital relationship.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals affirm their desire to fully experience the intimate oneness that God intends for marriage, recognizing that this unity encompasses all aspects of their lives, including physical cohabitation.
Galatians 5:16
“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”
This verse encourages believers to walk by the Spirit rather than gratifying the desires of the flesh. Living together before marriage can be seen as giving in to the desires of the flesh rather than submitting to the Spirit’s leading.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals demonstrate their commitment to walking in the Spirit, seeking to resist the pull of worldly desires and to align their lives with God’s will and guidance.
Proverbs 19:14
“House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.”
This proverb highlights the significance of God’s role in bringing a suitable spouse into one’s life. Living together before marriage can hinder the recognition of God’s hand and guidance in the process of finding the right partner.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals trust in God’s timing and provision, believing that He will bring a wise and suitable spouse into their lives according to His perfect plan.
Proverbs 21:9
“It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.”
This proverb emphasizes the negative consequences of living in an environment characterized by strife and discord. Living together before marriage can expose individuals to the potential challenges and conflicts that may arise within a shared household.
By choosing not to live together before marriage, individuals seek to establish a solid foundation for their relationship before cohabitation, striving for a peaceful and harmonious environment that fosters love, understanding, and mutual respect.