In marriage, attraction between a husband and wife is natural, but what does the Bible say about the concept of lust, even within a marriage? Is there a line between loving desire and something more concerning? This topic raises important questions about love, respect, and intention in a biblical context.
Also Read: What Does The Bible Say About Husband And Wife Going To Separate Churches
What Does The Bible Say About Lusting After Your Wife
Proverbs 5:18-19
“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.”
This passage emphasizes the importance of finding satisfaction and joy in one’s own spouse. It encourages husbands to cherish and be deeply satisfied by the love and intimacy shared with their wives, celebrating the beauty and delight that comes from this exclusive relationship.
It serves as a reminder to guard against lusting after others and instead focus on nurturing and appreciating the unique bond within marriage, experiencing the fullness of love and satisfaction within that covenant.
Song of Solomon 7:6-7
“How beautiful you are and how pleasing, my love, with your delights! Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. I said, ‘I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit.’ May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples.”
This poetic passage from the Song of Solomon vividly portrays the intimate desires within a marital relationship. It reflects the deep affection and admiration between a husband and his wife, capturing the beauty and attraction shared between them.
Although it portrays physical desire, the context of the verses affirms that such passion is meant to be contained within the sacred boundaries of marriage. It celebrates the unique and exclusive love between spouses, encouraging husbands to see their wives as the epitome of beauty and desirability.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5
“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
This passage emphasizes the mutual responsibility of husbands and wives to fulfill each other’s sexual needs within the context of marriage. It underscores the importance of sexual intimacy as a beautiful and necessary aspect of the marital relationship, highlighting the equal partnership of giving and receiving pleasure.
The verse encourages open communication and agreement between spouses regarding temporary periods of abstinence for spiritual reasons but cautions against prolonged deprivation, as it may create opportunities for temptation and weaken self-control.
Proverbs 19:14
“Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.”
This proverb acknowledges the valuable presence of a wise and understanding wife as a gift from God. It recognizes that a wife who possesses prudence, good judgment, and discernment is not merely a result of human effort or circumstances but a divine blessing.
It encourages husbands to value and treasure the qualities of their wives, recognizing the important partnership and contribution they bring to their homes and families.
Proverbs 18:22
“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”
This verse highlights the blessing and favor that comes from finding a wife. It emphasizes the value of a godly spouse and the positive impact they can have on the life of their partner.
It encourages husbands to appreciate and honor their wives, recognizing them as a source of goodness and favor bestowed upon them by the Lord.
Hebrews 13:4
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
This verse emphasizes the sanctity of the marital relationship and the importance of honoring it. It highlights the call for faithfulness within marriage and the imperative to maintain purity and fidelity in the marriage bed.
It serves as a reminder that God views adultery and sexual immorality as serious offenses, calling for Christians to uphold the sacredness of marriage and reject any form of unfaithfulness.
1 Corinthians 6:18
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”
This verse urges believers to actively flee from sexual immorality. It recognizes that sexual sin carries a unique weight, as it directly involves one’s own body.
It reminds us of the importance of guarding our hearts and minds, resisting the temptations and influences that lead to sexual immorality. By doing so, believers honor their bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit and strive for purity in their thoughts and actions.
Colossians 3:5
“Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.”
This verse exhorts believers to put an end to the practices associated with earthly desires and sinful nature, including sexual immorality, impurity, and lust. It emphasizes the need to actively and decisively reject these behaviors as they are contrary to God’s will.
It challenges Christians to seek transformation and renewal through the power of the Holy Spirit, putting to death their sinful inclinations and embracing a lifestyle that reflects the holiness and righteousness of God.
Proverbs 6:25
“Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes.”
This verse serves as a warning against the dangers of lust and the allure of external beauty. It advises individuals to guard their hearts and minds, refusing to be captivated by the seductive charms of another person.
It encourages believers to cultivate inner purity and righteousness, diverting their focus from mere physical appearance and instead prioritizing genuine and virtuous qualities in their relationships.
Matthew 5:28
“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
In this verse, Jesus addresses the deeper issue of lust in the heart rather than the physical act of adultery alone. He reveals that even entertaining lustful thoughts or desires in one’s heart is a violation of God’s standard.
It challenges believers to examine their thought life and pursue purity not only in their actions but also in their innermost being, acknowledging that God’s standards extend beyond external behaviors.
Job 31:1
“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.”
This verse expresses Job’s commitment to maintaining purity in his thoughts and vision. It highlights the personal responsibility individuals have in actively guarding their eyes and disciplining their gaze.
It serves as a reminder that resisting and redirecting one’s visual inclinations is essential in avoiding lustful thoughts and maintaining a heart focused on righteousness.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God.”
This passage highlights God’s desire for believers to live lives marked by sanctification, avoiding sexual immorality and exercising self-control over their bodies.
It emphasizes that Christians are called to conduct themselves differently from those who do not know God, resisting the passionate and sinful lust that characterizes a worldly mindset.
Galatians 5:16
“So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”
This verse encourages believers to rely on the guidance and empowerment of the Holy Spirit in order to resist and overcome the sinful desires of the flesh. It emphasizes the importance of a daily walk with God in order to maintain purity and righteousness.
By surrendering to the Spirit’s leading, believers find strength to resist the temptations of lust and pursue a life that honors God in their thoughts, words, and actions.
Matthew 15:19-20
“For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.”
In this passage, Jesus highlights that defilement comes from the inward desires and thoughts of the heart rather than external actions alone. He includes sexual immorality as one of the evil thoughts that proceed from a corrupted heart.
It serves as a reminder that true purity and righteousness originate from within, and the transformation of the heart is essential in overcoming lustful desires and leading a life that pleases God.
Romans 13:14
“Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.”
This verse encourages believers to intentionally align themselves with Christ, immersing their lives in His teachings and example. By doing so, they are empowered to resist the temptations of satisfying their fleshly desires.
It invites Christians to prioritize spiritual growth over indulging in fleeting pleasures, finding fulfillment and contentment in their relationship with Christ rather than seeking fulfillment through lustful thoughts or actions.
Romans 12:2
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
This verse encourages believers to reject worldly influences and allow their minds to be continually transformed and renewed by the Word of God. It emphasizes the importance of aligning one’s thoughts and beliefs with God’s will.
By renewing their minds, individuals can discern and understand the goodness and purity of God’s plans, enabling them to resist the temptations of lust and follow His perfect will.
Matthew 5:27-28
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Jesus addresses the heart issue of lust by explaining that even desiring someone else’s spouse in one’s heart is akin to committing adultery. He emphasizes that sin begins internally before manifesting in physical actions.
This verse challenges believers to go beyond merely adhering to the letter of the law and instead focus on their inner purity and integrity, understanding that God’s standard surpasses human expectations.
Psalm 119:37
“Turn my eyes from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word.”
This verse expresses a plea to God for guidance and preservation from distractions and worthless pursuits. It acknowledges the need for divine intervention to redirect one’s focus and set their gaze on things that align with God’s will.
It serves as a reminder of the importance of seeking God’s help in resisting temptations and placing value on that which is pleasing to Him rather than indulging in lustful desires.
Psalm 101:3
“I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. I hate what faithless people do; I will have no part in it.”
In this psalm, the psalmist declares their commitment to uphold purity in their life and thoughts. They express a strong aversion to anything that is wicked or unfaithful, resolving not to participate in such actions or entertain lustful thoughts.
It encourages believers to cultivate a similar stance towards evil and sin, actively turning away from anything that could lead to lustful desires or compromise their commitment to righteousness.
James 1:14-15
“But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”
This passage highlights the process of temptation and sin, beginning with the allure of evil desires within a person. It emphasizes that indulging and nurturing these desires leads to sin, which ultimately leads to spiritual death.
It reminds believers of the importance of recognizing and resisting the initial temptations of lust, understanding the devastating consequences that can result from nurturing and acting upon such desires.
1 Peter 2:11
“Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul.”
This verse addresses believers as foreigners and exiles in this world, encouraging them to resist and abstain from sinful desires that wage war against their souls. It underscores the spiritual battle that takes place within the hearts and minds of believers.
It serves as a reminder to guard against the destructive power of sinful desires, recognizing the importance of actively choosing holiness and purity in order to protect one’s spiritual well-being.
Galatians 5:24
“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”
This verse highlights the transformative power of Christ in the life of a believer. It emphasizes that those who have surrendered their lives to Christ have crucified their sinful nature and its desires.
It serves as an encouragement to rely on the empowering presence of the Holy Spirit and the crucifixion of the flesh in order to resist the temptations of lust and pursue a life that honors God.
Ecclesiastes 9:9
“Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.”
This verse acknowledges the fleeting nature of life and encourages individuals to find joy and contentment in their relationship with their spouse. It recognizes that in the midst of life’s uncertainties, the companionship and love shared within marriage are to be treasured.
It reminds husbands of the importance of finding delight and satisfaction in their own wives, rather than seeking fulfillment or gratification in other places that can lead to lustful desires.