The Bible encourages purity and self-control in relationships, urging believers to honor God with their bodies. While it doesn’t lay out specific rules about physical contact before marriage, Scripture provides principles that guide us in maintaining purity and respecting boundaries. Let’s explore what the Bible says about physical touch in romantic relationships.
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What Does The Bible Say About Touching Before Marriage
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;
This verse emphasizes the importance of abstaining from sexual immorality and maintaining purity before marriage. It encourages believers to exercise self-control over their bodies and to honor God with their actions. It reminds us that as followers of Christ, our conduct should be distinct from those who do not know God, especially in regards to sexual desires and actions.
1 Corinthians 6:18
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
This verse urges believers to avoid and flee from sexual immorality. It highlights the seriousness of this sin, stating that it is unique and impactful, as it is committed against one’s own body. It serves as a reminder that sexual purity is a virtue to be upheld, as it is a reflection of one’s dedication to God and respect for their own body as a temple of the Holy Spirit.
1 Corinthians 10:8
We must not indulge in sexual immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day.
This verse recounts the consequences of indulging in sexual immorality, referring to the incident in the Old Testament when many Israelites engaged in sexual immorality and faced severe punishment. It serves as a warning to believers, emphasizing the importance of avoiding sexual immorality and remaining faithful to God’s commandments to prevent the detrimental consequences that can result from disobedience.
Matthew 5:28
But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Jesus emphasizes the deep-rooted nature of lustful thoughts and intentions, stating that it equates to committing adultery in the heart. This verse underscores the importance of not just refraining from physical sexual immorality but also guarding one’s thoughts and desires. It reminds believers to strive for purity in both actions and intentions, seeking to align their hearts with God’s standards.
Galatians 5:19
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,
In this verse, the Apostle Paul lists sexual immorality as one of the works of the flesh, highlighting it as a sinful behavior that is contrary to the Spirit. It serves as a reminder that engaging in sexual immorality goes against God’s intended design for human relationships and reflects a life governed by sinful desires rather than the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Hebrews 13:4
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
This verse emphasizes the sanctity of marriage and the importance of keeping the marriage bed undefiled. It underscores the seriousness of sexual immorality, stating that God will judge those who engage in such behavior. It encourages believers to honor and respect the institution of marriage, both in their own lives and in their views on relationships and sexuality.
Proverbs 5:15-19
Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
This passage uses the metaphor of water to illustrate the importance of fidelity and sexual intimacy within the context of marriage. It encourages believers to find satisfaction and joy in the companionship and physical intimacy of their own spouse, rather than seeking it outside of their marriage. It serves to remind us of the exclusivity and blessing that God intended for sexual intimacy to be enjoyed within the covenant of marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:2
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
This verse acknowledges the reality of sexual temptation and highlights the biblical solution to avoid sexual immorality – marriage. It emphasizes the importance of marriage as a God-given institution where sexual desires can be appropriately fulfilled. It encourages believers to pursue marriage as a means of safeguarding against sexual immorality.
Ephesians 5:3
But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.
This verse affirms the high moral standards that should characterize the lives of believers. It calls for sexual immorality, impurity, and covetousness to have no place in their conduct or speech. It reminds believers of the importance of living in a way that is consistent with their identity as saints, reflecting God’s holiness and righteousness.
1 Corinthians 7:8-9
To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
This passage addresses the topic of singleness and urges those who struggle with self-control in their sexual desires to pursue marriage. It acknowledges that marriage can be a viable and honorable solution for those who find it challenging to remain sexually pure while single. It affirms that it is better to enter into a marriage covenant than to allow passionate desires to lead to sin.
1 Timothy 4:12
Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
This verse encourages believers, regardless of their age, to set an example in purity. It reminds young believers that they can have an impact on others by living a life characterized by moral purity. It emphasizes the importance of maintaining a high standard of conduct that glorifies God and draws others closer to Him.
Proverbs 6:32-33
He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself. He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away.
This passage warns of the destructive consequences of committing adultery and engaging in sexual immorality. It highlights the damage it inflicts on individuals both physically and emotionally. It serves as a strong reminder to believers of the importance of avoiding such behavior and the lifelong consequences that can result from it.
Colossians 3:5
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.
Paul instructs believers to put to death the sinful desires of the flesh, including sexual immorality. It calls for believers to reject and eliminate any lustful or impure thoughts and behaviors from their lives, viewing them as idolatry and contrary to a life devoted to Christ. It underscores the need for continuous repentance and transformation in the area of sexual purity.
Proverbs 5:3-4
For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.
This passage serves as a warning against the enticements and deceptive allure of sexual immorality. It compares the initial appeal of forbidden sexual relationships to sweet honey, but ultimately reveals the bitterness and harm that result from such encounters. It cautions believers to be vigilant, recognizing the fleeting nature of sinful pleasures and the destructive consequences that follow.
1 Peter 2:11
Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.
Peter urges believers to resist and abstain from indulging in the desires of the flesh, including sexual passions. He reminds them that as followers of Christ, they are called to live as sojourners and exiles in this world, recognizing that their true home is in heaven. It emphasizes the ongoing spiritual battle against sinful desires, calling for believers to remain vigilant and rely on the power of the Holy Spirit to resist temptation.
Proverbs 7:21-27
With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him. All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver; as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life. And now, O sons, listen to me, and be attentive to the words of my mouth. Let not your heart turn aside to her ways; do not stray into her paths, for many a victim has she laid low, and all her slain are a mighty throng. Her house is the way to Sheol, going down to the chambers of death.
This passage vividly describes the deceptive tactics of a seductive woman and the dire consequences of succumbing to her advances. It serves as a cautionary tale, warning believers of the alluring nature of sexual temptation and the destructive path it leads to. It urges believers to be wise and discerning, avoiding situations and influences that can lead them astray and ultimately towards spiritual death.
Romans 13:13
Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy.
Paul encourages believers to live in a manner that is honorable and pleasing to God. He lists sexual immorality and sensuality as behaviors that should be avoided, along with other sinful actions such as orgies, drunkenness, quarreling, and jealousy. This verse serves as a reminder that believers are called to emulate Christ’s character in all aspects of their lives, including their attitudes and actions towards sexual purity.
Psalm 119:9
How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.
This verse addresses the struggle of maintaining purity in a world rampant with sexual temptations. It acknowledges the challenges faced by young individuals specifically and offers a solution – guarding one’s way according to God’s Word. It emphasizes the importance of saturating one’s mind and heart with God’s truth, allowing His Word to serve as a guiding compass in navigating the complexities of relationships and sexuality.
Ephesians 5:18
And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit,
While this verse does not explicitly mention sexual immorality, it highlights the need for believers to avoid any behavior that leads to debauchery, which can include sexual sin. It contrasts being under the influence of alcohol with being filled with the Holy Spirit. It encourages believers to seek the Spirit’s guidance and empowerment to resist temptation and live a life that honors God in all areas, including their sexual conduct.
Matthew 15:19
For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.
This verse highlights the connection between the heart and our actions. It reveals that sexual immorality, among other sins, is birthed from the depths of the human heart. It serves as a reminder that addressing sexual purity involves not only external actions but also internal transformation. It emphasizes the need for believers to guard their hearts and surrender their desires to God, allowing Him to renew and purify their innermost beings.
Galatians 5:16
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
This verse provides a practical instruction for believers in overcoming the desires of the flesh, including the temptation for sexual immorality. It encourages believers to walk by the Spirit, seeking to align their thoughts, words, and actions with the leading of the Holy Spirit. By relying on the Spirit’s power, believers can overcome the pull of the flesh and choose to live in a way that honors God and reflects His righteousness.
2 Timothy 2:22
So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.
Paul advises Timothy to actively flee from youthful passions, which can include sexual immorality. He urges him to pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace instead, alongside others who are also devoted to the Lord with pure hearts. This verse emphasizes the importance of intentionally choosing a life marked by purity and actively seeking after the things that align with God’s heart.
Proverbs 6:25
Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes;
This verse warns against allowing the beauty and allure of another person to captivate one’s heart and lead to lustful desires. It serves as a reminder to guard one’s thoughts and emotions, resisting the temptation to entertain fantasies or desires that are contrary to God’s standards of purity. It challenges believers to prioritize holiness in their hearts and relationships, recognizing the potential danger of allowing ungodly attractions to take root.